Entertainment

What If Regina George Was A Super Villain?

by Mary Grace Garis

Hot off the tail of True Detective it's been announced that Rachel McAdams will be co-starring in Doctor Strange along with Benedict Cumberbatch. Now, as to who she's been cast as, we have yet to find out. While it's more than likely that McAdams will play Doctor Strange's love interest Clea (because why else are women in super hero movies if not to play love interests?), I'd be much happier if she just goes back to her roots and plays Regina George. Let's be honest, no one else would make for a more captivating super villain.

Yes, I fully get that McAdams is now in her deep thirties, and Regina had embraced her inner zen through the power of lacrosse at the end of Mean Girls. But old habits die hard, and I can imagine an older Regina falling back into her ways after some kind of catastrophic event. And she's wouldn't just be trying to maintain her perfect social status anymore, she'd be trying to take over the world.

OK, whatever, you either think it's the best idea of all time or you hate fun. Either way, here are seven reasons why a super villain Regina George would be so fetch.

1. The Origin Story

Mild-mannered sociopath Regina George was minding her own business one day when she got hit by a bus, fracturing her spine in five places. Wanting the best for her daughter, Mrs. George arranged it so Regina would get the best replacement robot parts, enabling Regina to channel her rage issues into brute physical force. Oh, and, for an extra $1,000, the doctor threw in razor sharp claws and a face lift.

2. The Outfit

No helmets, which would easily muss up her perfect blonde coif, and definitely no capes, because those are passé. Regina's outfits would mix elements of Barbie pink and black leather; it would be flame resistant and come with impractical heels. Seriously, though, what were those girls doing wearing stilettos at high school? I was lucky to see my classmates out of Angry Birds pajamas.

3. The Super Powers

Two Fendi purses, and a silver Lexis. Oh, also laser vision.

4. The Minions

Super villain minion is a career choice that was made for Karen, let's be real. Gretchen is definitely destined to be the minion that betrays the antagonist in the final act, though (see: "We should totally stab Caesar" for details).

5. The Sneakily Passive Aggressive Brand Of Girly Evil

Let's take a moment to acknowledge that Regina plummeted the entire school into chaos and discord. Sisters were fighting sisters. Friends became enemies. Coach Carr was almost definitely fired. There's no doubt that someone who could twist the Burn Book in such a way is capable of masterminding global warfare. She can literally manipulate countries into destroying themselves until she emerges the one true leader. That's some Lex Luther stuff there.

6. The Arch Nemesis

Ideally, her arch nemesis would pre-breakdown Lindsay Lohan, which in 2015 doesn't exist. So, besides maybe an embittered Janis Ian and her piles and piles of angst, pretty much no one can stop Regina's reign of terror.

7. Her Only Weakness

Kalteen bars will gum up her mechanics and force her into velour sweatpants, which totally clash with her utility belt.

Yeah, let's all take a moment to be glad that McAdams' high school queen bee days are behind her, because Doctor Strange wouldn't stand a chance against Regina George.

Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy (7)