A Perpetually Stoned Justin Bieber May Be Just The Thing We Need in 2014
Justin, Justin, Justin. What are we going to do with you? According to reports, Justin Bieber hot-boxed a van and when he exited, a huge cloud of smoke was trailing behind him and his crew. In case you needed any more proof that the Biebs is a huge stoner, the Los Angeles Police Department are allegedly on the lookout for Bieber's hotboxed van, which recently made an appearance outside of the Power 106 radio station in Los Angeles where Bieber had an interview this past week. Fans stalking — err, waiting for — Bieber outside of the station probably got a contact high when Bieber unleashed the alleged pot smoke from the van.
Look, it's no secret that Bieber has the habit of acting like the most obnoxious kid you went to high school with. Do we really have to count all of Bieber's antics? Well, there was the drunken bucket-peeing incident at a NYC restaurant (which concluded with Bieber spraying a photo of Bill Clinton with cleaning liquid and proceeding to say "Fuck Bill Clinton", because why not), the whole refusing to pay for indoor skydiving in Las Vegas thing, and, recently, the Brazilian prostitute incident. That's not to mention his reckless driving habits and his general love of attention. Justin Bieber is essentially a child trapped inside the body of a... well, still a child, but a bigger child. Maybe a pre-teen. A pre-teen with well-defined abs.
Justin Bieber should definitely not be driving around under the influence — he was a passenger in the van and not the driver, but still, obviously not safe — but we do have to admit that a stoned Justin Bieber has the potential to be far less annoying than a drunk (or, really, even a totally sober) one. Just think about a high Bieber. It's not like he'll want to go cause a ruckus.
Stoned Bieber looks like a guy who just wants to get his hands on an In-and-Out burger and then maybe watch a few hours of AdultSwim and then take a nap. Stoned Biebs simply doesn't have the energy to be his obnoxious, entitled self. That's why we're so grateful for Bieber's alleged love of marijuana: it stops him from being a total idiot in public.
As long as Bieber keeps his love of weed off the road, we'd be thrilled to see a droopy-eyed, giggly Bieber in the press more often. Can we get this kid a medical marijuana card under the medical condition of being a total douchebag? Looking at you, Santa.