There's much more love in your life than you think there is. Feeling truly loved and accepted is never about how much love and acceptance you can get from other people — but how much you can give. When you embody those feelings, you become them. Taking time to be fully present in how much love is around you is a great place to start.
We assume the people in our lives love us, even if they only tell us once in a while. And we assume this because of how they behave. As anybody can tell you, words mean little when reality doesn't back them up. The best way to let someone know that they're loved is by showing them, not just telling them. And the best way to show them is to prove to them that you know them well, appreciate them truly, or are thinking of them and holding them in your heart.
Showing someone that you love them is a lot simpler than people think, which is probably why people don't do it often. We show strangers love when we pay a drink forward, or smile on the street, or say "thank you" and mean it. We show ourselves love when we take care of ourselves, or let ourselves feel. These gestures are not grandiose, they are simple, and they are ordinary, and because they are so mundane, there's a certain authenticity that's irreplaceably unique, and incredibly beautiful.
Text Them And Tell Them You've Been Thinking About Them
All it takes is just a short message saying: "Hey, I've been thinking about you lately, and I hope you're doing well!" to let someone know that you really do care. Even if you don't have time to make a trip to see them or talk on the phone for an hour, just a little note to let them know they've been on your mind says everything. (People love to know you're thinking about them when they're not around — in the good way, of course.)
Ask About Something They're Proud Of Or Passionate About Or Interested In
This is probably the biggest and most important relationship hack ever: if you really want to engage with someone, ask them about something they're passionate about. Ask them to tell you all about the big promotion they just got at work, or the new project they're getting off the ground or that one piece of art hanging in their living room. Ask them about things they care about. They'll be so happy to share.
Pick Up Their Coffee On Your Way To Work
Or on the way home. Cook a little extra and invite them over for dinner. Make a dessert and bring it to the office, or go online and have a little treat sent to their desk. It costs very little, but says so much.
Tell Them You Thought A Lot About What They Said
Let them know that you take their opinions — and your conversations — seriously. Whether they shared an opinion, a belief, an idea, a perspective on a situation... no matter what it is, and whether or not you agreed entirely, just let them know that you really listened and thought about something they had to say. (The best way to make people feel completely isolated is to dismiss their thoughts.)
Get Something Off Your Chest
Be honest with them. Tell them how you really feel. Do this because a healthy, happy relationship requires it. Say: "I want to share this with you because I love you and care so much about our relationship, and it's really important to me that you hear this and understand it." By framing it in the context of how important it is to you that they listen, what you're really saying is: "Your opinion matters to me, and you matter to me." When people know their opinions matter, they're more open-minded (and hearted!) when it comes to hearing yours out.
Tell Them Why You're Grateful They're In Your Life
Don't just say that you love them or that you're thankful they're in your life... tell them why. Be specific. Thank them for that time they helped you through a brutal breakup or how talking to them makes you laugh and really helps you get through the workday. Tell them that you're grateful because you feel like they understand you, or accept you completely. Give them a reason, not just a statement. They'll be the ones who will be grateful that you did.
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