8 'The Big Short' Trailer Moments As Interesting As Brad Pitt's Beard — VIDEO

If you're looking for a pick-me-up for your work week, look no further. The The Big Short trailer is out, and it's chock full of hot guys for every different taste. Brad Pitt stars, if you still have an appreciation for the classic vintage heart throb, and Ryan Gosling is there for all you "Hey Girl" modernists. We have Christian Bale in there, for girls who enjoy businessmen with a dark side. And, hey, Steve Carrell is in it, for that weird friend of yours who finds your father's "man walks into a bar" jokes kind of sexy. Basically, there's something for every one.

The Big Short is based on a Michael Lewis book called The Big Short: Inside The Doomsday Machine. It follows the people who profited from the recession by creating the credit default swap market. So, like, fancy stuff that I personally don't understand, because I have no idea what it means when someone says they work "in finance." Besides, you know, "I make a lot more money than you."

Feel free to actually watch through the trailer below, and figure it out for yourself. Or, skip ahead and check out all the best moments I've curated for you to enjoy.

1. Bale's Bowl Haircut

Even the suits in the trailer know that he got a hack job at Supercuts or something.

2. Pitt's Facial Hair

You really get to see a thick brush of gray stubble, mmm. And those wireless glasses? Divine.

3. Whatever Is Happening On Carrell's Head

It's kind of impressive.

4. Gosling's Dye Job

I'm just kind of big on the "why" of why this is happening. What his dirty blonde beauty not enough?!

5. Old Rich White People Laughing

"HAHAHAHAHA, GOOD LUCK FINDING A JOB CLASS OF 2008."

6. Bale Clutching Onto His Coffee Like It's The Most Precious Elixir In The World

It must be a Monday.

7. A Cameo Of Max Greenfield From New Girl

Schmidt happens.

8. This Stripper Who's Worried About Her Loans Because She Owns Five Houses

I honestly just hope there's a subplot about her and her struggles as a strong working woman.

Check out the trailer below.

Paramount Pictures on YouTube

Images: Paramount Pictures (9)