What Would 'Elf' Be Like Starring Kanye?

There's no doubt that Kanye West is a bit of a polarizing celebrity. You either love Yeezy or you loathe him — and either way, you're likely also fascinated by him. This is likely only exacerbated by the fact that West is now claiming that he will run for President in 2020. Of course, West's comments about his desired presidency are only a small fraction of the bizarre things he's said (and meant) recently. Case-in-point: This quote with a pretty amazing metaphor that he told Vanity Fair during a recent interview. Specifically, West told the magazine that he identifies with Buddy from Elf . Somehow.

If an image of West as Buddy is now burned in your brain forever, trust me: You're not alone.

Obviously, West didn't mean that he literally felt like a human raised in an elf world. The quote came after a question about Fashion Week, in which designers were peeved that West stole a coveted slot. Here's what he told Vanity Fair:

A lot of times I feel like Will Ferrell in the movie Elf. You know this big guy that wants to [join in] and his hands are a little bit too big... I could just say please forgive me if I ever step on any toes, because there’s nothing that I would ever want to do or say that would take away from any designer, that would take away from anyone’s work or what they’re working so hard on.

Okay, so that's a pretty normal metaphor (especially considering West's affinity for less-than-logical ones) but that doesn't mean that we can't/shouldn't imagine what Christmas flick Elf would look like had West actually been Buddy. For the record, it would probably look like this:

And also like this:

(Thank you, Bustle Associate Entertainment Editor Kadeen Griffiths, for these amazing interpretations. My life is better for them.)

So, how else would Elf be totally different if it starred Yeezus? Here are a few ways West's portrayal of Buddy would have changed everything.

1. Buddy Wouldn't Work At A Department Store, He'd Work At Louis Vuitton

Because even rich people need to know that Santa Claus cares about hearing what they want for Christmas, OK? West doesn't need to buy anything — even toys — off the rack. Standards, people.

2. Buddy's Love Interest Would Be Decidedly Less Quirky

As for working alongside Buddy — Kim Kardashian is doing just fine with her media empire, so I assume she'd likely pass on that.

3. Jay Z And Beyonce Would Be Santa And Mrs. Claus

They already give us the gifts of music and #relationshipgoals.

4. He Would Play A Big Role In Deciding Who's Naughty Or Nice

Hey, the dude has opinions, OK?

5. Christmas Carols Would Just Be The Track List From Yeezus

At least we wouldn't be sick of it by January.

6. Santa's Workshop Would Move To Malibu-yeah!

The other elves will thank him immensely.

7. Smiling Won't Be A Requirement Of Elves

Smiling is not his favorite.

Fingers crossed that someone makes a sequel to Elf and casts Yeezy in the lead role... I think it's time we turn this metaphor into a reality.

Images: Kadeen Griffiths/Bustle (3); Giphy (7)