These 8 Sex Moments of 2013 Are Unforgettable (No Matter How Hard You Try)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was 2013, and there were some very memorable sex moments perpetrated by politicians, celebrities, and the entire cast of Girls. Here's to the good, the bad, and the please-pass-the-brain-bleach yikes of 2013 — and here's hoping 2014 is just as titillating.
Miley Cyrus Did Some Things at the VMAs (and elsewhere)
Yep, Miley’s (problematic) foam-finger performance at the VMAs is a given, but see also: Miley Cyrus growing up and getting all the news coverage, Miley Cyrus in “Wrecking Ball,” Miley Cyrus equating her brand of hyper-sexuality to SUPER-feminism (which, you know, sort of), Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus. It’s that phenomenon where you say a word over and over again, like “shoe,” and eventually, you start to think that “shoe” isn’t even a word at all, or at least that “shoe” doesn’t mean what you once thought it did. Is Miley Cyrus even real? Is she animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Booth Jonathan and Marnie Sealed the Deal, horrifyingly
Would that it were 2012 in the Girls universe still, when Hannah’s eardrums were both intact and Booth Jonathan was just a sexy-bossy art dude who could pull off lines like, “I’m a man and I know how to do things.” But this is 2013, Hannah has no eardrums intact, Booth Jonathan fucks like a starfish, and everything is wrong.
"Blurred Lines" Sparked a Conversation on Rape Culture
One could not escape Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” this summer if one tried. It was blaring at the office, on the radio, in every club you promptly wished you hadn’t ventured into, and online, where heated debates raged about whether or not the song advocated rape and rape culture. It’s hard to say what was the most troubling: the song’s lyrics, its music video, Thicke’s own defense for both, or the fact that we don’t have way, way more highly publicized conversations about misogyny in mainstream music. (On the bright side? This feminist parody.)
Anthony Weiner Sexted Sydney Leathers
Anthony Weiner’s sexting scandal opened a new chapter this year, and then a few things happened. America met Sydney Leathers, who gave us questionable advice on how to seduce politicians. Weiner’s — or, should we say, Carlos Danger’s — mayoral aspirations imploded in his face as New York City lost confidence in him. Also, at least three New York Post staffers started uncontrollably spewing Weiner-and-Leathers-centric headline puns at the breakfast table, cackling and hyperventilating as their husbands, wives, and children watched on in horror. Probably.
Butt Selfies Became a Thing
Speaking of sexting, butts butts butts butts: 2013 was a big year for ‘em. As if Snapchatting sexy full-frontal shots of ourselves wasn’t difficult enough, this year, we were told to STEP IT UP, LADIES, because normal naked pix are super 2012. Thus, the butt selife was born, to the immense confusion and dubious contorting efforts of sexters everywhere.
Kimye Filled an Unknown Void in Our Lives With "Bound 2"
Kanye West’s music video for “Bound 2,” featuring some gyrating from Kim Kardashian, is either 2013’s best sex moment or its worst, depending on who you ask. If you were to ask Kanye, for instance, he’d probably declare that it’s one of the best sex moments, not just of 2013, but of all human existence. Those are his thoughts on his fiancée’s looks, anyway, which is actually very sweet, in a Kanye sort of way. (Also, don’t miss the recent SNL parody video.)
"Blue is the Warmest Color" Featured a Pretty Sexy Sex Scene
Confession: I haven’t actually seen Blue is the Warmest Color yet, but I’ve been dying to. This is partially because it’s a French arthouse film, and I enjoy feeling très artistique and intercontinental. Mostly, though, I’m enticed by the promise of a very spicy sex scene — the most buzzed-about sex scene of 2013, in fact (which the actresses HATED filming, incidentally). Still want more? The Daily Beast rounded up the year’s top sex scenes, for your viewing pleasure.
Pubic Hair Returned With a Vengeance (On Lady Gaga, No Less)
Just last month, we learned that 51% of women skip styling or grooming their pubic hair. Soon after, science was backed up by none other than Lady Gaga, who was shot in a fur coat and, ahem, a fur coat for Candy magazine. Not that we don’t have more important things to worry about than pubic hair, but it’s always good to see a major celeb bucking gender norms.