How to Prepare for the Spice Girls Reunion

Take a deep breath and try not to pass out: Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown says a Spice Girls something could happen next year. When asked if the Spice Girls would ever reunite without Victoria Beckham (who is done with the pop star thing), Brown told The Daily Mail, "I don’t know. Maybe. It depends on what it is and when it is. With our 20th anniversary approaching in 2014 something is going to happen. Everyone knows I'm always championing a reunion. I truly believe it'll happen sooner or later." AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T HELP IT, I'VE PASSED OUT.

Okay, okay. She didn't say that the reunion will happen, she just believes it'll happen. But I believe that if there's anyone who can believe something into reality, it's Scary Spice. She made hair horns trendy. Hair horns. She can do anything. "It's a shame we're not doing more as a band," Brown said. "There are no cogs turning right now but put it this way, there are always at least two of us talking about doing something."

You may read that and think, Calm down, Kristie. She's probably just saying that to freak out suckers like you. Nothing's set in stone. Don't put your eggs in that cart before the horse basket. Hey. I'm not a sucker. And don't be such a party pooper. Also, I think you butchered that idiom. Anyway, let me hold onto that glimmer of Girl Power-infused hope.

The Spice Girls have reunited before, but it's never been permanent. When Brown, Beckham, Emma Bunton, Melanie Chisholm, and Geri Halliwell joined forces for The Return of the Spice Girls tour/released the song "Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)" back in 2007, I thought we might get a new album. Nope, just Greatest Hits (which I bought, of course) and an amazing reunion tour (which I road tripped from Arizona to Los Angeles during finals week for, of course). And when my five idols reunited again for the 2012 London Olympics, I thought, This is it. They're going to announce that they've been working on new music for the past year or so. They're going to drop an album. Again, no such luck.

Given that their 20-year anniversary is on the horizon (and Brown's "I think anything is possible" comment), I'm anticipating that the a Spice Force Five will reunite. At the very least, it'll be the Spice Force Four. Aw, crap. That doesn't have the same ring to it. Beckham, you have to be there! You have to. YOU HAVE TO. Will it be a bonafide reunion, complete with a new album and tour? Or will it be a "one night only" sort of situation? Eh, I'll be content with whatever happens. And by "content" I mean "a blubbering, inconsolable mess." But in a good way.

Here's how I'll prepare for any potential reunion that may or may not happen in the future:

  • Watch Spice World over and over until I've relearned all of the dialogue (oh, you're right. I still know every line). "That's a good idea. Thanks, Em."
  • Dust off my platform shoes (and practice walking in them. It's been a while).
  • Acquire blue eyeshadow. And silver eyeshadow. No more neutral eye makeup for me. Just metallics and glitter. [Embed]
  • Get a Spice Force Five costume. I've always wanted one. Now that I'm a tax-paying adult, now seems as good a time as any. And I could sub in for Beckham! Oh my gosh, I'm totally kidding. No one could sub in for Posh Spice. No one should sub in for Posh Spice.
  • Find my Spice Girls dolls and recreate the music video for "Spice Up Your Life." Here's my inspiration:

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