You Can Buy A Frat House Scented Candle, FYI

Your disgusting thing of the day comes to your courtesy of this frat house scented candle. That's right — this candle, from Flick Candles, is said to smell like the basement of a frat house. It honestly leads me to wonder why anyone would pay $16.99 for it, considering the basements of frat houses tend to be cesspits of B.O., vomit, and sexual assault. Having never been in a frat house myself I can't say for sure that the smell is pungently disgusting, but knowing what large groups of drunk, sweaty young boys smell like in the street doesn't give me great confidence as to how they smell in a confined, below ground, windowless space.

The description of the candle does nothing to make it sound any more appealing than it does in my head:

"This lovely scent mixes old vintage movie posters with a splash of something that will definitely give you a headache tomorrow morning. However, none of that matters because you will not be able to get past the overwhelming smell of sweat and Jungle Juice. Keep the good times going 24/7 with Frat House Basement Party as the intoxicating aroma grinds up on you. Sure this candle costs money -- but when you’re involved in Greek life, so do your friends."

So basically we're just glorifying binge drinking and dudes with boners rubbing them up on whatever they please under the guise of "dancing". The only people I can see buying this are ex-frat members hankering for the glory days where their gross, drunk machismo was celebrated.

Obviously, I won't be rushing out to purchase the scent of a dirty frat house basement. Meanwhile, here are 5 more oddly scented candles I won't be buying either:

1. Bushwick Scented Candle

So basically it just smells like trash that hasn't been collected in weeks percolating in the sun?

2. Stripper Scented Candles

Because stripping takes a lot of showmanship and athletic ability, I'm guessing this candle just smells like body glitter mixed with a lot of perspiration —which is basically what 2003 smelled like for everyone.

3. Fart Scented Candle

I have enough self-made fart smell I most certainly don't need a candle for it.

4. Angel's Wings Scented Candle

I've smelled feathers. They smell oily and gross.

5. White Castle Scented Candle

Because who doesn't want their home to smell like fast food restaurant, I guess?

Images: Universal Pictures; Flick Candles