5 Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To Other People, According To Science
Fall is upon us. And the Pumpkin Spice lattes, scarves, and oversize sweaters come at a cost: Cuffing season, aka the time when cold weather makes us all want to cuddle up with each other and drink hot chocolate until the snow melts. If you're still searching for someone to keep you warm, there's no need to worry yet. Just take a look at these five traits to make you more attractive, and before you know it, you'll be Netflix and chilling to your heart's content.
If you won't take my word for it — which is totally understandable, considering my longest relationship to date has been with a bottle of wine I got for my birthday last year — take M. Gary Neuman's. In a recent video, the author and therapist discussed five scientifically-backed tips for dating with Business Insider. Unsurprisingly, his advice is pretty simple. If you're looking for a recipe to make everyone fall in love with you, I'm sorry to say that you're not going to find it here. Actually, I don't think you're going to find one anywhere outside of the Harry Potter universe, and even that wears off. But if you'd like some scientifically-backed dating tips, you've come to the right place!
Of course, I don't actually recommend changing your personality to make yourself more appealing to someone. Unless you're a prickly-yet-secretly-sweet high school outcast embroiled in a bet to seduce the all-star quarterback before prom at a fictional high school no one has ever gone to in real life. In that case, carry on, or else your romantic subplot will never be resolved. But if you're a regular human being, rather than a character in a romantic comedy, then my advice is to be yourself around someone you're interested in. What's the point of dating someone if you can't be your weird, lovely self with them?
Take a cue from Pirates of the Caribbean and think of the following things as guidelines rather than rules. Will they make your favorite barista fall in love with you immediately upon deployment? Probably not. But will they up your chances of getting their number once you work up the courage to ask? Heck yes.
1. Make Eye Contact
Eye contact has been shown to increase feelings of intimacy between people.
2. Be a Good Listener
There's a reason this particular tidbit of advice shows up again and again. People love talking about themselves, especially with someone who's actually paying attention. Besides, they'll probably return the favor once they've had their say.
3. Get Touchy (As Long As You Have Consent To Do So)
In the video, Dr. Neuman refers to a study showing that people who touch more are happier in their relationships. Humans are tactile creatures; research has shown that physical contact releases oxytocin, aka the "love hormone." While you definitely shouldn't start groping people in the hope that they'll fall in love with you, little (consensual) touches like hand holding and hugs can only strengthen your relationship.
According to Dr. Neuman, people crave validation. "You need to make your partner feel like a winner, a feeling that leads directly to love," the video says. Personally, I would recommend taking this advice with a grain of salt — it's not your job to enhance your love interest's self-esteem. However, it's always nice to feel like someone is on your side, so definitely don't withhold your appreciation.
Smiling has been shown to make you seem more friendly, confident, and attractive to others. Plus, there's a theory that the act of smiling creates a feedback loop that continues your good mood. It's a win-win!
Check out the full video over at Business Insider.