In a new video, "Lesbian Women Have Questions For Gay Men," BuzzFeed sends out a group of lesbian women to ask gay men questions about certain stereotypes associated with the gay male community, facets of gay male culture, and the most important question of all: Why do people think gay men and lesbians can't get along? The video itself is pretty funny, but it also gives rise to a much deeper conversation about each one of the letters in LGBTQA. Although lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, and asexual people are often lumped together under one umbrella and called "the LGBTQA community," it's important to remember that not all people that fall under that umbrella have the same experiences — which is exactly what BuzzFeed's video drives home.
The term "LGBTQA community" can be useful for discussing minorities as a whole, but it can also be wildly innacurate to assume that everyone who is considered a part of it is going through exactly the same thing. For example, bisexual women have different struggles with mental health than lesbians and deal with a completely different set of stereotypes including being labeled as greedy, slutty, and commitment-phobes. If gay men and queer women deal with different forms of societal oppression, trans people and lesbians are granted different sets of rights, and asexual men and bisexual women have different safe spaces, how can we lump them all together under one umbrella and call it a community?
One of the easiest ways to see this discussion at play is by listening to gay men and lesbian women be utterly confused by what goes on in the world of the other. It shows that "LGBTQA" isn't just one thing; it's as varied and unique as each individual person in it is.
Here are just a few of the questions posed in BuzzFeed's video. Scroll down to watch the whole thing:
1. Why are Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Barbara Streisand gay icons?
Because they aren't necessarily icons in the same way for other communities, particularly not lesbians (although yes, world, many of us do wish Bey were gay). According to the man who answered the question, celebrities like Bey and Gaga have high appeal because of their long hair, talent, and most importantly, glittery outfits.
2. Do gay men have sex using the same position as straight people?
Basically, according to the guy who answered this question, yes. But he also added that there are lots of different, fun ways to have sex whether you're straight or gay or whatever!
3. Do you get upset when women are in gay bars?
The answer to this was basically "no," but the dude did say that sometimes it's disheartening to see too many women in a gay bar, because it means less men. As a lesbian who gets disgruntled when men are taking up space during ladies' nights, I feel this.
4. What makes someone a power bottom?
The term "power bottom," refers to the submissive partner who defies all stereotypes of what it means to be a submissive partner because power bottoms take control of the situation by setting guidelines for their dominant partners and telling them what to do. According to the video, all it takes to be a power bottom is some confidence and a can-do attitude, since power bottoms are doing a lot of the work.
5. Are there fewer mind games in gay male relationships or is it the same?
Let's be real: Even though we're all different, every type of relationship can involve manipulation and mind games.
Check out the whole video below — and remember, we are all different in our own ways. While it doesn't always make sense to call it the LGBTQA community instead of distinguishing between each letter, it also doesn't make sense to assume all gay men or lesbian women are the same.
Images: BuzzFeedBlue/YouTube (5)