The 5-Year-Old's Guide to Texting Guys

When it comes to "modern relationships," I think my least favorite part is the texting. There are too many rules that I cannot keep track of, and I usually become so overwrought with anxiety that I avoid answering messages altogether. I am the queen of unintentionally ghosting boys. What I need is a texting mentor — and now I have three, thanks to these adorable little girls who give texting advice to ladies in the dating pool.

The latest of Cosmopolitan's videos featuring Lulu and Nina, both 5 years old, and Judith, 6 years old, "Little Girls Give Women Texting Advice" is overflowing with babies talking like adults (my ideal comedy aesthetic). These wise little ladies have already tackled some pretty advanced topics — helping women prepare for a first date, doling out texting advice to men, and so on — but this round of suggestions is particularly helpful, because the girls make everything seem so simple. When they're not screaming about pizza, that is.

Take, for example, the discussion around late night texts. Why would a guy text you really late at night (we all know why but still)? "Because he likes you." I mean... yep. That's it. To some extent, he likes you. If he likes you, he texts you, and vice versa. OK. Got it.

Here are a few other very, very helpful tips. Scroll down to watch the whole video for more.

1. DO: Think out of the box when sending a selfie.

Smiling? Meh. Sultry? Snooze. Silly face ? Now that's where the gold is.

2. DON'T: Beat around the proverbial bush.

Did a really great date suddenly stop texting you back? Call him out on it! "You used to talk to me a year ago and now you're ghosting me" is a great way to ease into the convo, suggests Judith. And if that doesn't work, then ask him to talk at "a pizza store." Because, as these wise munchkins observed, who doesn't like pizza?

3. DO: Ask him out if you like him!

If guys can do it, girls can do it! "Both okay," says Nina. And Nina, I'd have to agree.

Check out the full video below for more sage advice and adorableness:

Images: Cosmopolitan/YouTube (4)