Drunk You Is Going To Love "Drunk Mall"

by Lara Rutherford-Morrison

Making strange and inexplicable online purchases while plastered just got easier, thanks to DrunkMall, a website for all your drunk shopping needs. Like SkyMall for the alcohol infused, DrunkMall scours the vast corners of the Internet to find objects that hit your “I’m drunk and I NEED that”/“Just how drunk was I?” sweet spot. The site’s slogan? “Take 2 aspirin and check your credit card statement in the morning.”

DrunkMall was created by Tyler Mahan Coe, who told The Cut how he came up with the website: "It was a pure 'Eureka!' moment out of nowhere, honestly. As soon as I realized it didn't already exist, I knew I had to create it and people instantly loved it." DrunkMall’s carefully curated selection falls into a number of categories for drunk purchases:

  • Things that have to do with food. (It’s no surprise that many of these items are breakfast-centric).
  • Things that are legit awesome (Cough cough Bill Murray shower curtain cough).
  • Things that are stupidly expensive.
  • Things that are stupidly large.
  • Things that are simply stupid. (IN A GOOD WAY).

Here are a few of my favorite DrunkMall selections. TBH, I probably wouldn’t even need to be drunk to buy some of these treasures. (I’m looking at you, pizza cones).

Sushi Cats

Amazon, $17.61

Self-balancing, Hands-free scooter

Amazon, $248.88

Pizza Cone Kit

Amazon, $15.99

Zombie Garden Gnome

Amazon, $25.12

Light Up Tutu

Amazon, $29.97

Breakfast Sandwich Machine

Amazon, $51.98

Netflix and Chill Condoms

Netflix and Chill, $9.99

The Always Crunchy Never Soggy Cereal Bowl

Amazon, $5.49

The Wine Rack, a wine-holding sports bra

Amazon, $29.99

Bill Murray Shower Curtain

Society 6, $68.00

Pepperoni Pizza Bedspread

Amazon, $149.95

3,000 Jazz Waxed Paper Cups

Amazon, $105.06

Life-sized Cardboard Thor

Amazon, $39.99

Shark's Head Wall Mount

Amazon, $44.95

An 8-foot long, 26 pound Gummi Snake

Amazon, $139.42

Image: Amazon