9 Of Leslie Burton's Best One-Liners From 'Undateable'
If you ask me (and you should), Undateable is one of the most underrated shows on television. I attribute its under appreciation to its Friday night time slot, because the show is full of roles that are hilarious, endearing, and a joy to watch. From the very beginning, Leslie Burton (played by Bianca Kajlich) has held her own in the boys club of the show. But she provides some much needed balance to their ridiculousness, and still has some pretty hilarious moments of her own. There are so many great Leslie Burton lines on Undateable that you might even want to consider quoting her in discussions with your own friends at the bar.
Leslie really comes in strong with her wit and delivery. Thankfully, Candace (Bridgit Mendler) joined the show in Season 2 and brought another woman to the scene, but Leslie is still defending herself and standing up to all the guys. And she's proved that she can out-humor the funniest among her crew of slacker dudes.
Leslie knows just how to respond to pretty much anything. Check out some of her best one-liners below and get ready to apply some of her signature wit into your own real-life situations.
1. When She Was Trying To Think Of A Name For Brett's Penis
Yes, this actually happened. Brett was trying to give his man parts a clever nickname, so Leslie came to the rescue with a book full of baby names saying,
"Alright, let's rename your penis. I brought in a baby naming book. I don't think this says anything about where I am in my life, but I'm 34 and I need to name something."
A totally normal discussion among friends....
2. When She Explained Having A One-Night Stand
In the Season 2 premiere, Leslie was trying to explain the mixed feelings she has about one-night stands, and she came up with the perfect analogy:
"One-night stands are like fast food. Sure you feel guilty the next day, but sometimes you just need something cheap you can enjoy in your car."
Anyone who makes a metaphor something food-related is my kind of person.
3. When She Tried To Explain The Post-Divorce Dating Scene
From the very first episode, Leslie was just so on-point with her words. In this one scene alone, there were plenty of quotable moments. But one of the most hilarious quotes was when Leslie explained her dating life to her brother:
"I am a 30-something-year-old divorced woman, so when a nice guy walks up to me with nice things to say, and I have my one good thong on, my thong and I are gonna listen."
She has a valid point about the undies, though. The underwear you choose definitely indicates certain expectations for the night, and as a newly single woman, she was on the prowl.
4. When She Wanted To Be Nice To Her Brother, But Not Too Nice
Leslie and Danny have a weird relationship, to say the least. The love is definitely there, but the like... well, sometimes not so much. So, instead of paying Danny a compliment or just saying that she loves him, Leslie showed how much she cares in her own unique way when she said,
"You are the best little brother in the whole world. I’m so glad Mom didn’t let me put you in the microwave."
Well, that's charming, in a Leslie sort of way.
5. When She Described The Pain Of Waxing
In Season 2's seventh episode, Justin found it hard to believe that bikini waxing was actually that painful. When he asked Leslie if it was really that bad, she had the perfect response,
"Have you ever heard a vagina cry?"
As many women can attest, Leslie was not wrong about that one.
6. When She Taught Justin About Phone Sex
When Justin was struggling to master the art of phone sex, Danny sent his sister (weird) Leslie to teach Justin what she knows. She explained to Justin that it's not about you say, but about how you say it. She somehow made the following a pretty sexy come-on.
"Do you know where I can find some canned beans?"
7. When She Didn't Want Justin To Apologize To Danny
When Justin felt bad about upsetting Danny in Season 2, episode five and wanted to say sorry, Leslie was not having it. She explained to Justin that he had a special hold over her brother:
"No! You can’t. Danny cares what you think. That’s a power that only one other person has, but I can’t get Vin Diesel to come here."
8. When She Couldn't Deal With Trent's Sexual Innuendos
In the second episode of Season 2, Candace's boyfriend was being super inappropriate with Leslie when he said,
"I dig your dump truck... I’m talking about your butt."
Leslie immediately shot back with,
"You’re a pig. And second of all, thanks. I’ve had a rough day."
Guess she was both flattered and insulted at the same time?
9. When She Wasn't Feeling Justin's Look
Leslie was not pleased to see her pal Justin rocking a vest in the fourth episode of the second season. She even asked him,
"Is there a Marty McFly look-alike contest somewhere?"
And then we all saw that undeniable resemblance to Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future and could not look away.
Leslie knows just what to say when she's stuck around some pretty ridiculous guys. The woman can definitely hold her own and make us laugh.