Like the wristwatch that came before it, smartphones have made it impossible to be a human in the modern age without owning at least one. Can you even imagine walking around the city without a GPS or the ability to document everything around you with a camera? No. Because time and technology are linear. (Do not quote me on that last thing.)
Because I've noticed my insane cellphone use increase, I also noticed that there are certain apps I use more than others. You know ... the ones on your first page that you put there to make it easier to access. You also have those you use all the time, that you put on the last page out of embarrassment. I've looked into your technological soul and I know what truly lies in your hard drive.
So what is it going to be? Are you a Snapchatter? A Facebooker? A Gamer? There are certain things that give away your personality the moment someone looks at your phone. I am constantly on Twitter. Constantly. I am reading funny jokes, learning about my favorite director, or trying to come up with something witty to write. My phone is an extension of myself, and I am a comedy nerd who loves joke construction. I even made this handy chart to explain what my phone really means to me below:
So what does YOUR favorite app say about you?
You recently graduated from college. You were born in the '90s or late '80s. You are almost always looking to see what your old friends are up to and where they are working now.
You are tired of reading paragraph-long politically charged statements on social media. Instead you want to look at pretty pictures and relax. That's why you were on Facebook in the first place! TO STALK YOUR FRIENDS' LIVES.
You were born in the late '90s. You don't remember The Amanda Show. You are a little too trusting of the Internet and forgot Omegle is a thing.
4. Any Kardashian App Ever
You are trend-centric and phase-forward. You want to know what the latest in fashion is. You watch a lot of reality TV and you don't judge yourself harshly on that. You possibly do squats.
Most likely you are living on the West Coast. You drive to work. That drive takes you over an hour. You don't like wasting time doing nothing so you always try to listen to something at least a little educational.
You most likely live on the East Coast. You take the train to work. Your commute is over an hour. You don't like carrying heavy bags to and from work.
You do something business-y or business adjacent. You probably have a dry-erase calendar in your kitchen and another one in your bedroom. You know how to do your taxes.
You are always telling people to "Try this place, you're gonna love it!" You always go out to "drinks" in order to network, and like to know what you are getting into ahead of time.
You are an animal lover. You've said "Have you seen that video of...?" at least four times this week.
You are an international student, or you're friends with an international student.
YouTube got boring. You aren't very PC.
You have an addictive personality. You had to delete Farmville from your phone — twice.
You are in college. Or just graduated from college. Your weekends are sacred times to bust out from shots and dance to some music.
You either run or thought about going on a run once (and it was equally exhausting).
You live in California.
You have really understanding friends. You work two part-time jobs.
You are often in situations where you have to Google something. Most likely, you hate the format of an article when you click on it through Facebook, so you just copy and paste the URL into Safari.
You are in your late 20s. You have had a major career change.
You are looking for connection. You are dope AF. You don't want to end up like Steven Glansberg (solid Superbad ref, *self five*!!!).
Images: Giphy, Dasha Fayvinova, Unsplash