Lindsay Lohan's Stolen Computer Is the Key to Understanding Her Better
Lindsay Lohan needs your help. Lohan's computer was stolen during her recent trip to China for the Sohu Fashion Festival. She's taken to Twitter to ask for anyone who knows anything to help her get it back. What could be on her laptop? Nude photos? A download of the entire series of Beverly Hills 90210? The secrets of her budding poetry career? Or does she just want her computer back because losing your computer sucks?
Everyone is all, "Lindsay Lohan totally had nakey pics on there and that's why she's desperate — desperate I tell you! — to get it back! Like, she's freaking out!" TMZ is reporting that there are nude pictures from various photo shoots that weren't meant to be released. There are also supposedly "private correspondences" between Lohan and Woody Allen and Lady Gaga.
But if you read her tweets about the situation it doesn't really sound like she's losing her cool. At all.
It was great to be in China and I want to thank everyone for their hospitality, however someone has stolen my computer at the airport …offering a reward for anyone who can retrieve and return it, bummer to go home without it.
Plus, she recently removed the tweets. "So that must mean she's soooo embarrassed that she realized she shouldn't have even drawn attention to the stolen laptop. Surely it is full of Lindsay nudeness and secret poetry and scandalous Google Hangouts with Woody and Lady Gaga."
Or it could mean any number of other, less freak-y out-y things:
1. She thought she left her computer in her hotel room, but it was wrapped in that hoodie at the bottom of her suitcase.
2. She realized that if there are secret photos and conversations, that she shouldn't be putting it out there that her computer is gone, because then she can't deny the photos/conversations being fake if they actually do get released.
3. She found a voicemail on her phone from an airport employee saying they found her computer so she was like, "Ah! Gotta take those tweets down so I don't have to go through with paying the reward!"
4. She remembered that she's Lindsay Lohan and can easily afford another laptop. (I mean really, do we think Lindsay "I Used To Run My Car Into Things All The Time" Lohan has never lost a laptop? Of course she has and of course she just buys new ones.)
5. She needed a good excuse, backed up with Twitter evidence, to give the employees at the Apple Store so as to use her insurance policy. After she got her new laptop, she didn't need the tweets anymore.
6. She wants to leak nude photos of herself that she had professionally done and needed to make it look like someone else did it.
7. She wasn't that attached to her hard drive.
8. There never was a stolen computer, but she though, "Surely the Shanghai airport has a lost and found bursting at the seams with laptops, someone will just send me one of those!"
No one knows what really happened besides Lohan, but if you want to see her naked, that information is already available so nude pics would be nothing new. Also, would it wouldn't really be that surprising if she had convos with Allen or Gaga — all of them are noted controversy causers. So anyway, hold on to your hats for the release of more Lindsay Lohan nudity or more tweets that will be deleted or to not hear anything else about this laptop ever again. The possibilities are endless.