It’s a Backstreet Boy! In news that will undoubtedly make us feel ancient, Monday night Nick Carter revealed the gender of his baby with wife Lauren Kitt Carter on Dancing with the Stars. Cue cascading blue balloons, cue cascading streams of tears: the former Backstreet Boy with the blonde bowl cut is having a baby? Yes, and though it’s daunting to hear, I have no doubt that Carter will make for a great dad. After all, his entire pop career has left him with no shortage of Backstreet Boy lullabies.
Consider the following. The Backstreet Boys were known for two things: being back, and a slew of ballads. And many of those ballads would make for a gentle lullaby to put a Mini Carter off to dreamland. Half of them already have the word “baby” in them. Half of them already have the word “girl” in them, though. And another good chunk of them have lines about the taste of lipstick. Hmmm.
But, you know what, whatever, babies don’t listen to lyrics. My point is, Backstreet Boy ballads are perfectly soothing for a before-bed listen. And if you disagree, why don’t you revisit some of these classics next time you’re wrestling with insomnia?
1. "As Long As You Love Me"
A song of true and beautiful forgiveness... when your kid is wailing their little potato-shaped head off.
2. "I Want It That Way"
When I was in college my friends lived in an apartment next to a night club. And, while all the beautiful people were stumbling about at 2 a.m., we would shout, "I Want It That Way" at them. So, you know, it's a song that can be repurposed, and a song beloved by drunk club-goers and goth kids alike. The video has over 171 million views on YouTube, I'd be shocked if the Baby Carter wasn't into it.
3. "Quit Playing Games With My Heart"
A soothing plea of desperation for when the baby just starts freaking out every time it's put back into it's crib. There's no crueler game than that.
4. "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"
This lamentation is perfect for when Nick just wants to settle down and watch True Detective with his wife in the next room, but his kid will not. Stop. Crying.
5. "All I Have To Give"
Yes, he raked in the big bucks with his whole pop superstar career, but love is all he has to give. Because he lost the pacifier. By the way, guys, please pause to actually watch the music video for this; the matching suits are insaaaaaane.
6. "Get Down"
See, even though slow songs are ideal for putting people to sleep, I think this track would be great if you need something bouncier for a colicky baby.
7. "Shape Of My Heart"
I feel like I wasn't so emotionally invested in Black & Blue (let's face it, Millennium is peak Backstreet Boys), but everyone should listen to this stand-out track. It'll either dry or move you to tears; hopefully the latter if you are a small infant.
8. "More Than That"
I mean, it's no "Shape Of My Heart," let's be real. Lovely track, though. I would definitely bring in the rest of the boys for this one, because those harmonies are key.
I'd say no matter what, that kid should be sleeping easy. Congratulations to the happy couple on their Backstreet baby!