"Porn Set Horror Stories" From Wood Rocket Will Make You Terrified To Have Sex — VIDEO

Sex is kind of like an extreme sport: When it's awesome, it's awesome. When it goes wrong, though, it goes incredibly, disgustingly, terrifyingly wrong — and if you don't believe me (totally understandable considering my romantic life is forever a barren wasteland of no sex ever), believe Wood Rocket's "Porn Set Horror Stories" video.  As easy as the end result may make it look, an astonishing amount of work goes on behind the scenes of a porn set: Scripts, makeup, cleaning up after the stars' explosive diarrhea... Wait, what?

Similarly to videos like "Porn Stars Read Mean Comments about Themselves," porn production company Wood Rocket sat adult film actors down to ask them about their worst horror stories, and boy, do they deliver. As much as we all prefer not to think about it, sex has the capacity to get really gross, really fast  and this is doubly true when you have the kind of acrobatic, marathon sex that porn stars perform for hours at a time. Unsurprisingly, this leads to some horror stories that are seriously, well, horrific. As one adult actress succinctly explains in Wood Rocket's latest video, "When you're gonna stuff things back there, you know, shit can or can't happen." 

Often, that's totally literal — thank you, anal sex! — but other stories feature numerous other bodily functions gone haywire, from farting grape juice to, of course, throwing up on someone's penis. One man describes with admirable nonchalance the time he popped a vein in his penis during a shoot, causing it to look like a cross between an eggplant and an accordion. In short, he broke his penis. Did you just clamp your legs shut? I totally did.  

Other stories are less cringeworthy, but still legitimately terrifying: One actress says an actor showed up on set with an open stab wound and still expected to perform (???), and another woman recounts the story of when she had to perform first aid on a makeup artist who walked straight through a plate glass window... and then she went back to set and did the scene like a goddamn professional. (By the way, Nina Hartley, please call me.)

I'm not going to spoil the entire video — in all honestly, it's a super interesting watch, once you get past all the bodily fluids. If you can get past all the bodily fluids. Check it out below:

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Images: Wood Rocket/YouTube (2)

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