How To Be More Patient Every Day

by Raven Ishak

One of the best virtues a person can have is patience, and the skill of learning how to be patient. You can pretty much conquer anything when you are truly not annoyed by a situation. And with today's society and our technological advances, it seems that, for some of us, our patience has actually been worn thin because we are so used to things being readily available. Even waiting a few seconds longer for a screen to load will feel like a century has just passed. But there are ways around this.

When it comes to patience, it could take a lot of practice. I never really had a problem with patience until my work tasks started to really pile up and I started to realize how valuable time was. When I didn't have all the time in the world anymore, that's when I started to notice a change in my attitude and the way that I was perceiving the world — it started to get really unhealthy. I have some minor control issues, so when I felt like I was losing control of my work and surroundings, this also coincided with my patience. So, unfortunately, my fuse was getting shorter and shorter. But after a few weeks of practice and internalizing where the problem was coming from, I have found some ways to become a little bit more patient not only with the outside world, but with myself, too.

1. Be Mindful Of What Is Evoking The Feeling

The first trick to conquering your patience is finding where the problem is coming from. This might require a lot of internalizing within yourself, but it will be worth it. According to a Huffington Post article about how to be more patient, when you are being mindful of your thoughts and actions, especially when a million multi-tasking thoughts are going through your head it can do a lot of good, like writing down your thoughts of what exactly is making you impatient. Soon, you will start to notice what is triggering you to feel impatient, which will then help you emotionally control the issue much better.

2. Remember That It's OK To Feel Uncomfortable

When you are changing a habit — especially one that you have been dealing with for such a long time — it's totally natural to feel uncomfortable. Habits and traits are really hard to change, but with a little bit of practice and patience (nudge, nudge), the habit will soon be part of who you are. According to a Psychology Today article about developing patience, Jane Bolton, Psy.D., M.F.T., C.C., a certified contemporary psychoanalyst, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified life coach said, "Where we often go astray with the 'solutions' that we try to find, is that we try to change the other person, situation or thing that we think is causing our discomfort. But the problem is, that it is not the outside thing that's the source of our pain, but how our mind is set." While the outside world can influence how we feel, we can control our conscious by how we perceive the world if it's done in a more positive light.

3. Take Deeps Breaths

You heard me. Doing this when you start feeling tense and anxious will relax you in more ways than one. According to an NPR article about breathing exercises, Mladen Golubic, a physician in the Cleveland Clinic's Center for Integrative Medicine said, "You can influence asthma; you can influence chronic obstructive pulmonary disease; you can influence heart failure," Golubic says. "There are studies that show that people who practice breathing exercises and have those conditions — they benefit." If you just take a second to collect your thoughts and feelings, it will help you be more aware of your impatience, and will allow you to take more control of the situation.

4. Just Let It Go

Easier said than done, right? Just let go of the reason why you are feeling impatient. The reason you are probably feeling impatient is probably due to a situation that you can't control. Usually outside influences inflict unfortunate circumstances that causes us to freak out. According to a Psychology Today article, Judith Sills, Ph.D, author of Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way, said, "Letting go means confronting these invisible emotional barriers: bringing them into your awareness and then struggling against them. It means challenging irrational, unproductive thinking until you get your head on straight; it means facing up to your fear and then calling on your courage and your character to face it down; and it means confronting your passionate attachment to a past love and reducing it from a boulder to a pebble." It's better to face the fear of why you are feeling a certain way, feel uncomfortable and let is go. The faster you do this, the faster you can become more patient with everyday tasks.

5. Look At The Big Picture

It's hard not to let our feelings get out of hand, but we tend to forget what the big picture is. You have to ask yourself, "Is this worth me getting impatient over? By me getting frustrated, will it change the outcome of the situation?" If your answer is no, then reevaluate and switch things up. I, personally, have been trying to use this mentality and by asking myself these questions. If the answer is no, I try to take three deep breaths and try to change my perspective.

6. Be The Bigger Person

This sounds strange, but if you're friend is running late, or an assignment isn't going to make the cut on time, you have to realize these are things that are outside of your control. By being impatient and possibly rude, you are hurting others around you and possibly bringing negative energy into the air. Of course, every circumstance is different, but most of the time, it's best to be the bigger person by letting go of the issue and laughing it off. According to a Help Guide article about what makes you impatient, nothing is better than laughing. It not only reduces stress, pain and conflict, but it works the fastest at lightening your burdens and bringing balance back into your life. Laughing is truly the best medicine.

It's OK to not be perfectly patient right off the start, but with these tips and experiences, you will soon start to realize what is exactly making you tick. Nothing is better than realizing you have complete control over your mind and with a little practice, you can really overcome anything you put your mind to.

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