John Oliver Lists The Hilariously NSFW Trademarks That Are Still Way Less Offensive Than The Redskins' Name — VIDEO

John Oliver has gone after one of his favorite targets once again for a much-deserved round of skewering. Four months after a federal judge cancelled the Washington Redskins' trademark registration because their name is clearly and blatantly racially charged, or "may disparage people," as federal law politely puts it, the NFL team has filed an appeal based on an absurdly weak excuse. Oliver slammed the Redskins and owner Dan Snyder for whining that other companies get to keep their offensive trademarks, so why can't they? It's like they're gluttons for punishment, because Oliver took the opportunity to list off all the trademarks that are deemed less offensive than the Redskins, two of which happen to include Jizz Underwear and Hot Octopuss.

Back in July, U.S. District Judge Gerald Bruce Lee upheld an earlier ruling by the federal Trademark Trial and Appeal Board that declared the team's name offensive to Native Americans. Under the Lanham Act, which does not grant names that "may disparage" trademark protection, the Redskins' trademark registrations were thus cancelled. On Friday, the Redskins, which Oliver refers to as "only the 19th most indefensible thing about the NFL," filed an 82-page appeal against the decision, pointing to other "disparaging" trademarks that the government had approved. What kinds of trademarks are they referring to, you ask? Oliver will gladly tell you.

While other news outlets have had to censor themselves in reporting this story, Oliver assures his audience that "Here on HBO, we have no such restrictions, so we will be reading the names out in full." Without further ado, you can read here some of the trademark names actually listed in the team's appeal, which include, "Edible Crotchless Gummy Panties, Dick Balls, and Klitoris with a 'K'."

In light of these existent trademarks, the Redskins are scratching their heads over why their trademark is so much worse.

For the record, that means the Redskins' moral defense is now essentially "Hey, our name is no worse than that of ... the Shank the Bitch board game."

And then the team had the audacity to argue that "just about everything is potentially disparaging to someone."

Because a) no, it isn't and b) that's not the fucking point. The word "Redskins" isn't potentially disparaging someone; it is currently disparaging to specific individuals.

But perhaps the most feeble argument from the NFL team came when owner Dan Snyder said that the moniker was actually intended to honor Native Americans.

Look, if I may talk to Redskins owner Dan Snyder for a moment: Intending to honor something is a lot different from actually honoring it. Although, since you seem to feel differently, let me now suggest that everyone "honor" Dan Snyder by renaming their fantasy football teams "Dan Snyder Is a Thin-Skinned Racist Whose Sunglasses Look Like Something a Tacky Pedophile Might Settle For."

Watch the entire segment below.

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