"My world is imploding and my uterus is exploding!" and "I can't go on!" are just among some of the thoughts that women have before their periods. While some of us ladies have been getting our periods for decades, we somehow never cease to find an element of surprise when Aunt Flow comes a knockin'. Maybe there was a time in our lives when we made a little red circle or star around the date we expected our periods to come, but that day is long gone. And the only way we know our period is coming is because we either wake up one morning in so much pain that we wish we had Advil for elephants, or we have a nonsensical emotional breakdown over spilled milk or the death of a character on Scream Queens.
And the thing about realizing that your emotions might be a result of a pre-period hormonal surge, is that you don't want it to be true. You want to believe that you're correct in all of your convictions and that you're above the emotional influence of estrogen. So even when you wake up with your period the morning after you had a heinous fight with partner because you felt abandoned when they choose to go to the bathroom without you, you stick to your guns. It wasn't the period talking, it was you, the indestructible female who is impervious to the side effects of Aunty Flow ... and who should always be invited to pee time?
For your viewing pleasure, enjoy some highlights from one of my favorite period horror videos that will further depict this struggle:
The First Pangs Of Pain
You've woken up with a dull throb in your lower back and an awful weight on your uterus and although you literally said out loud that you were going to stay home from work and lay in bed all day Netflix binging, your conscientious subconscious dragged you out of bed and brought you into the office. So there you sit, with your little miserable secret: you're in pain and hate everyone around you for feeling fine.
You Can't Even
Oh no! You thought you were just day dreaming about rolling on the floor in pain. Turns out you're actually on the floor, in the middle of your office, acting out the dramatic gestures of a slow death. You do not feel like doing work. You feel like crying. You feel like insulting people for being happy. You feel like the world just needs to stop and hug you for the rest of the afternoon. But you get up, because you're a strong woman and you have a high pain tolerance and your period doesn't keep you from being on your A game ... even if it makes you feel like it's Game Over.
Nom, Nom, Nom, Salvation
You have a few pre-period tricks up your sleeve. You know what helps get you through the day and you're not afraid to use your menstrual weapons. A family size bar of chocolate? OK. A little Easy Mac with Sriracha? Go for it. A stick-on heating pad? Yes please. Girl, do what you gotta do to get through it! Because while having your period might feel like bloody hell (lolz), it's a gift.
Enjoy the full video here:
Images: YouTube (4)