I love the Democratic candidates, I really do. They're serious individuals dedicated to talking about the real issues facing America. They don't give trite, half-thought out answers. But unfortunately, that means that their debate is kind of boring. However, I've got an idea of how to mix things up: let the Republican candidates moderate the Democratic debate.
This idea is, clearly, genius. Sure, it will get in the way of a substantive, serious debate that could help us select the next leader of the free world. But it would provide for some outstanding television. The GOP candidates would be more than up to the challenge. In their past four debates, they've established that they are reliable sources of quality entertainment. From Lindsey Graham's dry humor to Donald Trump's mere presence, the GOP debates are never dull.
With the second Democratic debate approaching on Saturday, the candidates are in crunch mode. There field is substantially smaller than the last time they met, and only Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley will take the stage in Iowa Saturday night. It'll pretty much be a party for all the GOP candidates watching and live-tweeting from home. You can be sure the GOPeanut gallery will have plenty of ideas about how the debate should have gone. So let's just let them host it. Can you fathom how wonderful that would be?
Every Question Would Go To Hillary
"Secretary Clinton, could you tell me more about your emails?"
It Would Last 11 Hours
But Trump would bail after the first two.
Bernie Would Be Called A Communist At Least Four Times
"Do you or do you not want to turn America into the Soviet Union?"
Everyone Would Forget About Martin O'Malley
"And none for Martin O'Malley, bye."
There Would Be Approximately Zero Questions On Climate Change
What even is science, anyway? It's completely unimportant.
Chris Christie Would Have A Meltdown From The Excitement
Remember how much Christie talked about Clinton during the undercard debate? The excitement of getting to confront her in person would be so overwhelming for him.
None Of The Democrats Would Actually Be Allowed To Speak
"Secretary Clinton, please explain your immigration policy — after I spend half an hour telling you how wrong your immigration policy is."
Bernie Would Just Straight Up Leave
"I'm sick and tired of hearing your damn questions!"
The Word "Benghazi" Would Be Used More Times Than During The Benghazi Hearing
"So enough about the economy, more about your deliberate and willful plan to kill all Americans."
Kasich Would Finally Realize He Might Be A Democrat
Seriously, it's going to happen sooner or later.
The Liberal Media Would Still Get Blamed
Don't ask me how. But it would happen. I blame Ted Cruz.
I'm telling you, this is a great idea. The GOP candidates love to complain about the debate moderators, so why not let them try their hand at hosting an event? Not to mention they're all dying to get at Clinton. And for viewers at home, we get a little added excitement to our Saturday night. No one loses! Except for the Democrats. They would definitely get the short end of this deal.
Images: Giphy (11)