Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are already legends. Given this, there were two ways their second Golden Globe monologue in as many years could have gone: It could have fallen prey to the politics of overhype, or it could have gone marvelously. Luckily for everyone, it tilted vastly more toward the latter.
Fey and Poehler walked out onstage in red and blue dresses respectively — relevant only because they looked DAMN AMAZING — and immediately got down to business. Their jokes were perfectly styled to the two of them, which called back to their days as the anchors of SNL's Weekend Update, as well as their own respective public voices. It was nice, it was funny, and it was comfortable, save for one joke about sex with Somali pirates.
And so, here are some highlights from the the "74th Annual Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's Lee Daniels' The Butler The Golden Globe Awards."
- In reference to their second time hosting: "This is Hollywood, and if something kind of works they'll just keep doing it until everyone hates it."
- There was a nice running joke on pronouncability, pronouncing Chiwetel Ejiofor and Lupita Nyong'o's names correctly (as one should) and slaughtering Tam Honks (translation: Tom Hanks)
- They referred to Matt Damon as "basically a garbageman"
- Meryl Streep in August: Osage County, "proving that there are still great parts in hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60."
- Fake facts: The title of American Hustle originally being "explosion at the wig factory."
- Jennifer Lawrence is the new Amy Poehler. By which I mean she is Amy Poehler. According to Amy Poehler.
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus continues to be perfect. (See below)
- On Woody Allen winning the Cecil B. Demille award, which last year went to Martin Scorcese: "I assume the award is for tiniest man with the biggest glasses."
- "George Clooney would rather float into space and die than spend one one more minute with a woman his own age"
- On Matthew McConaghey losing a bunch of weight for his movies: "Which is what actresses call being in a movie."
- Amy: "I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say I will never look at slavery the same way again" Tina: "Wait how were you looking at [slavery]?"
- "Masters Of Sex — is the degree I got from Boston College."
- "We'll get the show done in three hours or, as Martin Scorsese calls it, act one!"
And so you have it: Fey and Poehler retain their crown.