Valentine's Day Research: I Ate 8 Aphrodisiacs In One Week and (Almost!) All I Got Was a Stomachache

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Do you guys have any idea how much I love you? Can I just take a self-indulgent minute to enumerate the many inappropriate places I ate aphrodisiacs this week, all for the purpose of Mythbusters-ing the shit out of them for you? I Seamlessed aphrodisiacs to my work desk on the company dime and even selected a restaurant with a frankly lusty menu for my mom’s birthday dinner. You're welcome.

My very scientific conclusions: aphrodisiacs are food and therefore delicious, but WAY less effective than, say, spectacular oral sex. (Mind you, I’m in an long distance relationship, so I’m pretty much ready to go after passing, like, a magazine stand that might sell porn.) Still, I fared better with some foxy eats than others. Click through to see what you should be eating come Valentine's Day.

Image: Getty Images

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