When everyone's favorite person to hate on Game of Thrones, Joffrey Baratheon, finally bit the dust, I cheered and threw a Wizard of Oz-styled celebration (like, "ding dong the witch is dead"-level). I cheered for a whole 30 seconds, in fact, before I realized — "oh, no. Where is this show headed, now?" I'm not knocking the show at all, don't get me wrong. Killing characters is sort of this show's thing — and the show is so good at it. But, as I watched latest season of GoT, I couldn't help but wonder: "What would Game of Thrones be like if Joffrey was still alive?" I know, call me crazy.
And then, I watched the Game of Thrones Season 6 teaser trailer. While everyone else is freaking out about the resurrection of Jon Snow, a tiny bit of me was still hoping someway, somehow, Joffrey would return from the dead too. Why do I feel this way? I don't like Joffrey — I loathe him. But, in some ways, I still miss the little snot-nosed brat. I loved how he stirred the GoT pot by acting like a complete lunatic. His adult tantrums made me smile. Also, Joffrey being slapped by Tyrion (or, really, by any character) is the best thing ever.
Even the staunchest Joffrey-haters (aka, everyone) should be able to admit that, story-telling wise, he added a lot to Westeros. Yes, his death set a lot of different plot points in motion, but I still can't help but to imagine the show with Joffrey still in it.
So, let me channel Melisandre and get all mystical with you. Here is how I imagine things would be different if Joffrey was still alive:
Queen Margaery Tyrell
We all know that Margaery Tyrell's family was behind the plot to assassinate her husband, Joffrey. But, had Joffrey lived, Margaery's life — and that of her entire family — would be significantly better than it is now. Think about it: Margaery was never well liked by her mother-in law Cersei, but after Joffrey's death, the two began an all-out war with one another. Because of their fighting, Margaery was arrested for false testimony. So, because of Joffrey's death, Margaery went from Queen to prisoner — not exactly great.
A Final Showdown Between Arya And Joffrey
Remember when Arya smacked Joffrey across his smug face in Season 1? Well, Arya has come a long way since then, and I personally would have greatly appreciated a final showdown between these two. Arya has become her family's protector and greatest knight. A final showdown between Joffrey and Arya where she could seek revenge for the wrongs against her family would have been a proper way for Joffrey to die. So, in this case, I am arguing that he should still have been killed — just later, and by Arya.
It has long been rumored that Jon Snow is actually the son of Robert Baratheon (aka, the R + L = J theory). It seems that, as the story unfolds, we are coming closer and closer to learning Jon Snow's true lineage. It would have been simply amazing to see Joffrey's face when he learned that not only was he not rightfully king, but also that he is the product of incest between his mother and uncle. Talk about family drama.
Tyrion Would Make Daenerys Queen
Tyrion spent most of the fourth season on the run from murder charges, trapped in a prison, and being kidnapped. He then ended up assisting the Mother of the Dragons, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen. The two have since parted ways, and audiences last saw him ruling Meereen — but I argue that if Joffrey was still alive, Tyrion would be more instrumental in making Daenerys queen. In this alternate storyline, Tyrion would become further disillusioned with King Joffrey and would have left King's Landing on his own. He would then find his way to Daenerys, and help her overthrow his own family. Tyrion has always been one of the smartest Lannisters, so it would make sense that it would take someone from within the family to stop their tyranny. He could be the advisor needed to make Daenerys the next queen of Westeros. And I'm in favor of any storylines that give Tyrion more screen time.
The Odd Couple
This could just be my idealistic, fanfiction brain working overtime, but when Oberyn Martell first arrived at King's Landing, I thought him and Joffrey would make the best of friends. Once they got past the whole betrayal and murder thing, it could totally work. Both Oberyn and Joffrey do basically whatever they want. Also, they both enjoy the finer things in life, and they both made poor choices that eventually lead to their deaths. Maybe if Joffrey didn't die so soon, they could have become friends. They seem like two peas in a very messed up pod.
So there you have it. That's just some of the ways Game of Thrones would be different if Joffrey was still alive.
Images: HBO; Giphy (4)