4 Steps To Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind To Get What You Want

Harnessing the power of your subconscious mind is probably the most crucial yet underutilized tool for success, even if that "success" is just to choose better relationships, or to love yourself more. What you probably know is that your subconscious is the most powerful part of your mind, and that it controls all of your unconscious behaviors like breathing and walking. What you may possibly know is that it's often controlling more than even just that — your ideas, opinions and moods are heavily influenced by it as well. What you likely don't know, however, is how to shift or change your subconscious biases so that you are creating the life you want almost on auto-pilot. One where you are predisposed to make choices, consider options and ultimately, "manifest" the life you really want.

What happens is that over time, your perspective on life is continually reinforced by your confirmation bias (the brain actively seeks out "evidence" to prove itself right) and that reinforcement becomes your unshakable view on life, love, yourself, your worth, etc. The work of changing your subconscious mind is choosing a new belief, then setting out to prove that valid. It's not easy, and it's definitely not a quick fix for anything — but it is honestly the only thing that really heals and changes us, even if we aren't conscious that we're doing it! So here are a few steps toward changing the way you don't realize you think — you'll be grateful you did it sooner rather than later.

Get Honest About Your Thoughts With A Series Of Q&As

You won't get anywhere if you don't know where you're starting, so begin with taking something that bothers you about your life (I don't have a romantic relationship) and ask yourself what beliefs surround this issue in your life (I am not attractive, I will never find anybody) and then ask where those feelings first cropped up (in middle school, when nobody asked me out) and then ask yourself about all the times that felt reinforced (when my girlfriend broke up with me in high school) and so on and so forth. This is how we get to the bottom, and the true root, of subconscious beliefs — and without getting there, you will not be able to fix or change them.

Do Not Reject, Deny Or Dismiss Those Thoughts

Fixing and changing these thoughts you have is not a matter of rejecting or suppressing them even more, it's about accepting them first. So even if they're kind of (very) hard to admit, you must be able to say: "These thoughts are totally valid given my experience, but I'm ready to create some new experiences, and make something else valid instead."

Decide How You'd Rather Think — And Double Check To Make Sure It's Both Healthy And Sustainable

You can't replace: "I am not attractive" with "Everybody thinks I am attractive" and believe it will solve the problem. You should, for example, replace "I am not attractive" with "I love myself and my uniqueness, and I am so deeply loved for who I am, not just how I look." Because in this case, the fear of not being seen as attractive was really just the fear of not being loved. That's what you have to work on changing, not just what it appears to be on the surface.

Set Out To Affirm Your New Thoughts

Make lists that back your new thinking up. Set out on your day with the intention of proving to yourself that you are loved, that you're smart, that you're meant to be doing the work you're doing... or whatever you're trying to convince yourself. You must prove a different reality to be true... and then once evidence mounts and it seems self-evident, you'll assume that is "true" from that point on.

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