Man Sues Toothpaste Maker for Not Getting Him Laid

In one of the more bizarre lawsuits to ever happen, a Nigerian man is suing toothpaste producer Unilever Nigeria Limited because their advertisements led him to believe using their product would help him attract women. But the plaintiff, Athony Olatunfe, says that after using Close-Up regularly for seven years, no such woman had appeared in his life.

Olatunfe has submitted all of his used toothpaste tubes as evidence and alleges that the company's false advertising has caused him mental suffering. "No girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath," Olatunfe said. "I always brush my teeth with so much Close-Up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV." Even creepier than the image of a man breathing on women, Olatunfe was apparently fired for trying to kiss his female boss after brushing his teeth.

Sexual harassment. Delightful. After losing his job, Olatunfe seemingly decided his only recourse was to blame the real people responsible for his plight: the toothpaste makers. Hence the lawsuit.

All I can say is that if this sort of suit becomes a thing, Axe Body Spray is going to have to completely overhaul their marketing strategy. Though the really concerning thing is that apparently not everyone understands that those ads are hyperbolic and ridiculous. Women actually do not become uncontrollably turned on by strangers just because one happens to wear body spray or brush his teeth. In fact the dental hygeine thing is sort of a bare minimum.

Presumably Olatunfe won't get very far with his suit. Though if it discourages the company from running the types of sexist ads that encourage this sort of thinking in the first place, maybe it'll be a win? In the meantime, maybe we should start explaining to men that women in real life aren't actually the same as women in commercials. Just in case they somehow got confused. They're pretty realistic: