Christian Bale Will Not Play Batman in Justice League Film... So Who Should?

EW reported Tuesday that Christian Bale is officially retiring as Batman, refusing to commit to a role in the rumored Justice League movie (which is set to start production sometime in the pretty distant future, but I guess he's trying to give us a window of time to get over this). Bale's been quoted as saying that the role of Batman is "a torch that should be handed from one actor to another." Well, that may be true, Christian, but it doesn't mean that we don't feel a little bit abandoned. The last guy to wear the cape before you was George Clooney, and we all know how that went (really, really poorly). It's fair to say that we don't entirely trust whoever is in charge of casting Batmans — so here are our suggestions for actors who might not ruin everything.

Christian Bale Hangs Up His Cape Forever

EW reported Tuesday that Christian Bale is officially retiring as Batman, refusing to commit to a role in the rumored Justice League movie (which is set to start production sometime in the pretty distant future, but I guess he's trying to give us a window of time to get over this). Bale's been quoted as saying that the role of Batman is "a torch that should be handed from one actor to another." Well, that may be true, Christian, but it doesn't mean that we don't feel a little bit abandoned. The last guy to wear the cape before you was George Clooney, and we all know how that went (really, really poorly). It's fair to say that we don't entirely trust whoever is in charge of casting Batmans — so here are our suggestions for actors who might not ruin everything.

Leonardo DiCaprio: The Chameleon

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DiCaprio might seem like a strange choice for Batman, but does anyone actually believe that he could be wrong for any role? He's never let us down before — I think he's earned this, guys.

Brad Pitt: The Marshmallow

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Pitt's made some questionable hair choices lately, but with the right superhero makeover, we think he could be back in Fight Club shape in no time.

Johnny Depp: Just Cast Him

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I pretty much would do anything to see Depp in something other than a Tim Burton movie at this point. Who cares what kind of Batman he'd be?

Ryan Gosling: The Eye Candy

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Part of me feels like we should just give up on finding an actor who's right for Batman and resign to at least having a Batman who's nice to look at. In that case: obviously Gosling. Plus, he's America's favorite bad boy with a sensitive core, and that's mainly what being Batman is about, right?

Chris Hemsworth: The Australian All-Star

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What's that, you say? Hemsworth is already a superhero? I think we can get over it for the sake of having a Batman who meets all the criteria: hot guy with bad boy capabilities, a heart of gold, and reasonable-to-decent acting abilities. Besides, Thor isn't even in the Justice League — forget that that movie and also The Avengers ever happened and we have ourselves a winner.