Felines are finally going to get their time to shine on Super Bowl Sunday and prove their superiority to all other animals on Earth. Get ready to convert, dog-lovers — The Hallmark Channel partnered up with The North Shore Animal League to present its inaugural three-hour event, Kitten Bowl 2014, on Feb. 2 at noon. Visions of adorable, fuzzy, agile playthings are jumping around in your head right now, aren't they? AREN'T THEY? They'd better be, because this is going to be the most adorable three hours of your life, and we're going to help you prepare for it.
"The greatest feline showdown in cable television history," according to Hallmark, will have two preliminary play-off rounds and a championship challenge, hosted by TV personality and animal activist Beth Stern and emceed by John Sterling, the radio voice of the New York Yankees. If you're wondering what those play-off rounds and the final championship will consist of, visualize this: two teams of the most adorable fur balls you've ever seen in the history of the universe jumping through hoops, running through tunnels, chasing lasers and toys on strings and otherwise being the cutest creatures you have ever seen.
The best part about all of this — prepare your animal-loving hearts — is that all of the kittens participating in the Bowl are guaranteed forever homes through Hallmark Channel's partnership with The North Shore Animal League. Kitten Bowl also guarantees that 60-70 of its "athletes" will join the list of pets adopted to forever homes and raise awareness to the plight of shelter animals in the United States.
How warm and fuzzy are you feeling already? Probably a lot warm and fuzzy — so now let us prepare you for your three-hour kitten binge before the big game on Super Bowl Sunday.
#1 — Watch The Kitten Bowl Training Camp: Kitten Cam
Granted, there's not a lot of conventional "training" going on — mostly a lot of snuggling and sleeping because that's all cats need to do to prepare for an athletic event. DUH! What's better than an endless livestream of adorable felines snuggling? I'll tell you what — nothing. Meow.
#2 — Look At These Kitten GIFs
LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE LEGS MOVING.
You are so cute.
Now you're overwhelmed and really excited — you're welcome.
#3 — Familiarize Yourself With The North Shore Animal League
They are the world's largest no-kill and adoption organization and base their efforts around the fact that no rescue is complete until each animal finds a loving, forever home. They've already saved more than 1,000,000 lives and have developed innovative educational programs that have reduced animal cruelty and advance the standards of animal welfare. Basically, they're really great.
#4 — Pretend You're A Cat For Five Minutes
Or a whole day — whatever works for you. Take an afternoon nap, roll around on your floor for a few minutes, or play with a laser pointer (you don't have to chase it, obviously, just shine it on the wall), and get in touch with your most cat-like self. Because cats are the best. (Harry Styles isn't so great at it — but you will be, trust us.)
#5 — Find A Cat And Play With It
This is NOT us advising you to go out and find the first stray cat, approach it, and try to play with it — because that cat will probably bite your hand off. Well maybe not, but approaching stray animals isn't a good idea ever so, we won't condone that. But, if you don't have one of your own, you probably have at least one friend who'd be generous enough to let you play with theirs for awhile. And if you don't have a feline-loving friend, well, the Internet is everyone's favorite feline-loving friend, so log on.
#6 — Read These Punny "Athlete Profiles"
YOU LOVE IT, YOU REALLY LOVE IT. Oh, and by the way, there are 41 other profiles on HallmarkChannel.com.
And now you can handle the endless amount of adorable the Kitten Bowl will obviously bring. MEOW!