Hipster Santa Claus Was Spotted At A Mall In Portland, Ore., And He's Way Cooler Than You Are
Another holiday season, another year of babies crying at mall Santas. I mean, I get it — sometimes those Santas are trying way too hard. Honestly, I wish every Santa was as true to himself as this hipster Santa spotted in a Portland, Ore. mall, sitting in a PDX-carpet-print-chair (people in Oregon are weirdly all about their airport carpet, and no, I don't know why), because of course he was. Where else would a hipster Santa be other than Portland? And what else would he be sitting in?
From his man-bun to his rugged sweater, all-black high tops, cuffed jeans, and thick glasses, this Santa, who has been making appearances at Pioneer Place Mall, has the whole Pacific Northwest cool-guy aesthetic on lock. I want to know where he shops. I want this outfit.
And it's not just that he's got this hot dad vibe. (I know — I can't believe I'm saying this, either.) He seems very chill. And cool. And so far I haven't seen any babies crying in his lap, and they say kids are the best judge of character, so Hipster Santa, you pass. Teach me your ways, Hipster Santa.
We don't know a whole lot about Hipster Santa other than the fact that he exists, although this video from WISH-TV is proof that he isn't just a myth:
One thing's for sure, though: Hipster Santa is probably cooler than you, and me, and pretty much all of us. Here are six times he proved it.
1. Hipster Santa rode here on his fixed-speed bike.
That he built himself. And honestly, sometimes, it's hard when he sees so many cars around because, like, everyone should ride a bike.
2. Hipster Santa leads a vegan lifestyle.
So he can't partake in your milk and cookies offering. It's a spiritual thing — t feeds his soul, abstaining from animal by-products, but it's OK if you don't understand. But hey, if that's almond milk and those are chickpea flour cookies, then he's all about that "milk and cookies" thing; furthermore, he has some great vegan recipes he'd love to share with you. They're on his vegan lifestyle Tumblr. You should really check them out.
3. Hipster Santa raised the sheep whose wool made that sweater.
He's been really into the concept of sustainable farming on a small scale recently, so now he raises some sheep in his spare time. Now he has a sweater that literally could not get any more local.
4. Hipster Santa knit that sweater, too.
Whatever. He likes crafts.
5. Hipster Santa has a whole lot of tattoos under that hand-knit sweater.
But not, like, dumb tattoos. Tattoos of a sketch he made on shrooms, some traditional Americana line work, and a sprig of flowers that represent the flowers in the field behind his house growing up. I bet he has a big chest piece.
6. Hipster Santa is just doing this Mall Santa thing so he can make a zine about it.
Working title is "Jingle All The Way" and it's about the empty commercialization of religious practices.