The Love Advice From Mom You Need To Hear

by Kristine Fellizar

If you’re one of those people who don’t have a close relationship with your mother, don’t live in near her, or don’t want to have to deal with her judging your questionable life decisions, Nina Keneally has designed Need A Mom, a service for “when you need a mom, just not YOUR mom.” Think of her as the cool, nonjudgmental mom you can bring into your life when you need some advice.

Keneally’s services include listening to you over drinks, reviewing resumes, helping with job interview prep, watching a movie with you if you don’t want to be alone, and even helping you buy and wrap presents to your real mom. What she won’t do, however, is clean your bathroom or do your laundry. As I’m sure many moms have said on multiple occasions, she’s not your maid.

In the latest episode of Bustle’s “I Want It That Way” podcast, Bustle talks to Keneally on something we could all use more of—love advice from mom. While Keneally believes that everyone knows the answers to their relationship problems, they just need to talk it out to someone without feeling judged.

Take a listen below:

1. On How To Elope Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings

According to Keneally, eloping isn't such a bad idea these days. Weddings have just become so over-the-top and stressful. But if you do elope, at least plan on having a celebratory party when you get back. That way, people will still feel included.

2. On Ghosting

Ghosting happens. As Keneally says, “It’s a curse of modern life.”

Keneally says deciding whether or not to ghost someone really depends on the circumstances. “I think it’s your mother’s job to say it’s terrible,” Keneally says. “You have to know what you can live with.” At the same time, if you feel like you can dish it out but can’t take it, then maybe you shouldn’t be doing that to other people.

3. On Never Giving Up

Because Keneally is New York-based, she definitely knows a thing or two about the difficulties of finding something serious and long-term in a big city. People tend to be more driven and out for opportunities to better themselves. But according to Keneally, you should put yourself in situations where you find like-minded people. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to approach someone you find interesting. People love to be spoken to, approached, and like having new conversations.

4. On Age Differences

“Go for it!” Keneally says. “It there’s a real spark there and a connection, why let an opportunity go by?”

If anyone gives you a hard time about it, ignore it. According to Keneally, “there’s just jealous.”

5. On Women Making The First Move

“Guys like it. Guys like to be courted a little too,” Keneally says. “This is 2015, we shouldn’t worry about that at all.”

It’s worth a shot. If you’re interested in someone, why not ask them out? What’s the worst they can say? If they say no, you can happily move on with your life and not waste anymore time on someone who’s not that interested in you. It’s a win-win situation.

6. On Being Picky

“It’s OK to be picky,” Keneally says. “You deserve the best you can get.”

7. On The Biggest Problem Relationships Face Today

We always hear how technology is a relationship-ruiner, and Keneally agrees. "There’s something that removes what makes it a relationship to me,” she says. According to her, the way people communicate the best is through body language. It’s more than words can ever convey. If you’re not spending some quality person to person interaction with someone, that’s a real loss.

8. On Sex On The First Date

“If the moment is right, and if you know what you’re doing, I have no problem with it,” Keneally says.

9. On Being Honest With People

Honesty is the best policy. If you’re in a situation where you’re not feeling the relationship but want to remain friends with the person, be honest with them. Don’t lead them on thinking it will turn into something more.

According to Keneally, there’s always a chance that you’re going to hurt the other person’s feelings. But you need to at least try to speak the truth. Lay your cards out on the table, talk about it, make a joint decision and figure out how to make things work. If not, you’ll know the truth and can move on with your life.

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