There's a reason why the bald eagle is the national bird of America, symbolizing its independence, freedom, and strength. One imagines that the bald eagle would do anything to protect our great nation from tyranny, oppression, and any other evil influence. Never has our national bird's dedication and courage been more evident than when a bald eagle tried to attack Donald Trump during a photo shoot for TIME magazine. Proving the sharpness of its instincts, the eagle must have sensed a threat to America when its handler placed it near Trump's over-cologned body and, without a second thought, it bravely defended our country. If only the world could be privy to what the bald eagle was thinking when it lunged at Trump.
In August, TIME magazine featured Trump on its cover, and for its profile the publication had Trump pose with an American bald eagle that made the candidate look even more like an over-the-top caricature than he already was. For the shoot, a 27-year-old bald eagle, appropriately named Uncle Sam, was brought in from Texas, presumably against his will. Also a safe bet? Nobody briefed him on who he would be posing with. Uncle Sam was thrust into the situation equipped with nothing but his killer instincts.
Because he's a professional, Sam fulfilled his duties with no complaints, but he knew something was not right. He could sense an odious, vile energy emitting from the large orange blur of an organism next to him. It was distinctly... un-American. And when that repugnant being suddenly reached toward Sam, the bird attacked — not only to defend himself, but to protect the freedom of our entire great nation.
Here's what was probably running through Uncle Sam's mind when he attacked Trump.
"Get your bigoted, money-grubbing hand away from me or I will remove it for you."
"I am picking up some very strong signals of vermin nearby."
"Your face has fascist dictator written all over it."
"I may not even be a mammal, but I have more moral integrity than you."
"Why do I get the feeling the world would be better off without you?"
"What kind of small animal is that on your head?"
"Why don't you come a little closer?"
"Make America great again? You don't look capable of making a sidewalk great again."
"I dare you to sue me."
Watch the whole video of the attack below.
And here's another shot of Trump's terrified face for the road:
Images: Giphy, TIME