Riffing On Charlie Sheen Riffing On Seals

On the off chance that you've been living under a rock for a few years at least, Charlie Sheen is the voice of our generation. Lena Dunham be damned, Charlie Sheen is a true artist, a revolutionary and a legend. He is the Pablo Neruda of our times, and his Twitter poems speak to the national psyche, of a country in turmoil and the sense of inner peace when we look upon the most majestic of creature, the mighty seal. Seals are so noble as to be indescribable, especially when contrasted with the warriors of the water, the captains of the stand up kayak. I mean, Charlie Sheen has been known to write beautiful poems through the medium of Twitter, and in doing so, he has created a new form of poetry, similar to a haiku but less syllable-bound.

Sheen's poems bridge the gap between free-verse and formal poetry, something that poets have been trying to do for hundreds of years. To read his words is to be inspired, and to feel the very spirit of creativity rush through you. Charlie Sheen's words are pure literary gold, the stuff of legends and the envy of aspiring poets all over the word. I can only respond and imitate in the face of such talent.

Humans are


Eat them with


sea salt in their hair, "yummy."

But seals will save the world

stopping global warming,

one seal at a time!

flopping flipper tails