7 Things Rick Ross Can Do With His New Pool — The Biggest Pool in America
Rick Ross must have hustled extremely hard, because he just bought the biggest house is Georgia, but more importantly, Rick Ross now owns the biggest pool in the U.S, and I bet he is going to do super fun stuff with it. There's the expected stuff, like filling it with hot women in bikinis or floating thousand of lilies on it (is that expected? It's what I'd expect to do with a gigantic pool), but then there's the endless possibilities for what else to do with a 350,000 gallon pool besides ya know, watching naked chicks splash around in it. I mean, the options for the pool alone make my brain explode, let alone for the massive barn, the 109 rooms, and the two lane bowling alley. Which I'm personally assuming he'll simply fill with more scantily clad women, since Rick Ross strikes me as a more linear type of dude, and he's already got the mansion and the cars bits figured out.
So here are all the things I hope Rick Ross does in his pool, if only because it would be a real waste not to do these things in the biggest pool in the entire goddamn country.
1. Purchase Gigantic Custom-Made Pool Floaties
I'm talking those inflatable seahorses you can ride, but in elephant size. Floatie beds in California King proportions. POOL NOODLES THE SIZE OF ANACONDAS.
2. Do Enough Laps To Lose The Gut
If you've bought an Olympic size indoor swimming pool, and Rick Ross just did, you better be swimming like a gosh darn Olympian. If Rick Ross did five laps in that pool every day, he would be unrecognizable. Fitness is important, even if you can afford a house bigger than most hotels.
3. Have EPIC POOL PARTIES
Although the amount of towels he'd have to have on hand is staggering to think about. The towel closet for an Olympic size pool would probably be bigger than my apartment. Sigh.
4. Buy Sharks With Fricking Laser Beams On Their Fricking Heads
Is it really too much to ask?
5. Try To Fit The Entire Population Of Georgia Into His Pool
It might not work, but it'd probably take a Guiness World Record for...something.
6. Form A Synchronized Swimming Team
Because you just know Rick Ross would look absolutely fetching in those floral swimcap things that all synchronized swimmers wear.
7. Figure Out A Way To Power It Through Solar Panels
Or else the kind of bills that pool alone will rack up are too scary to even think about. Rick Ross will probably spend more on pool bills in a year than I will on my rent for the next decade, which is pretty upsetting either way you look at it.