You Can Now Buy Pregnancy Faking Kits Online...but Please, Please Don't

In a development that will make you lose all faith in humanity, a number of extremely horrifying individuals are selling “pregnancy faking kits” online — and worse, a number of even more horrifying individuals are actually buying them. Because tricking the woman in your life into thinking she's pregnant/tricking the man in your life into thinking he's about to father a child always ends so well.

The Daily Mail reports that these “fake pregnancy kits” are showing up with astonishing frequency on the Internet. They can be snagged on eBay for a mere five bucks; meanwhile, actual online retailer Fake a Baby offers a slightly pricier version ($19.95), as well as a wide array of other “hilarious gags” — their words — like personalized 2-D and 3-D fake sonograms. How do the kits work? They’re pretty low-tech, all things considered; they look like regular old pee-on-a-stick pregnancy tests, except that they give a positive result every time.

I can think of absolutely zero situations in which pulling something like this would be a good idea. Not a one. Reproductive rights are already enough of an issue without adding pregnancy pranking kits to the mix. “Hey, guess what? You’re now going to be spending the next 18 years and heavens only knows how much money taking care of a tiny human being! Isn’t that just the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?” No. No, it is not.

At the time of the Daily Mail’s writing, Fake a Baby included a box all customers must check before purchase stating that they weren’t going to use their ill-gotten gains for illegal or fraudulent purposes; when I went to the website to poke around, though, I found no such box. They do at least include some small print cautioning buyers, “This item has the potential to be used irresponsibly”…yea, no shit.

All I can say is: RIP, society.

Image: Fotolia