It's official: Our special friend Eve will be returning to the big screen some time in the next two years. Tyra Banks confirmed her role in the Life-Size sequel, that made-for-TV Disney movie co-starring Lindsay Lohan that came out back in 2000, and several minutes on, I still have absolutely no idea what to make of this. Not, by the way, that any of Banks' comments on the movie have been even remotely helpful. (Telling us it'll be a a "modern take," gives us nothing, Tyra.) Does that mean modern as in it'll be Eve and Lindsay Lohan snorting coke off a toilet seat? Modern as in what, exactly. As much as my inner 8-year-old is sobbing with joy right now, I can't help but be a bit skeptical of a sequel that's being made a cool 14 years down the line.
It's one of those horrible situations where your inner child and your outer adult are at odds with each other. Do I want a Life-Size sequel? Do I not? Will I go see it? Will I force some poor child I'm babysitting to watch it so that I feel less weird about watching a children's movie? I just don't know, guys, I really don't. Let's weigh the pros and cons of this bizarre, Tyra-Banks-as-a-Barbie situation.
Pro: I always wanted a life size Tyra doll and now I get to pretend I have one for that much longer.
This is the 8-year-old self poking through. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't sort of wish I had this lil' bit of Tyra in my life as well, and the part of me that wishes that is allll grown up.
VASELINE FOR EVERYONEEEEEEE.
Con: Lindsay Lohan isn't just an adorably exasperated ginger child anymore.
And while it's cute for a child to learn about life, love and losing from a doll that's come to life, it's sort of sad when you picture a grown up LiLo, still learning lessons from her childhood Eve doll. It would give this movie a Ted-like quality, and I'm sure no one wants that.
Pro: I JUST REALLY LOVE TYRA BANKS.
Mostly because of the Vaseline thing, but also in general. More Tyra is usually good Tyra.
Con: But this sequel is about 10 years too late.
Honestly guys, considering a second Life-Size would've been optimal before Lindsay Lohan hit pubert, let alone years after she made Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen.
Pro: Even the slightest chance we'll get another life changing song/dance routine like "Be A Star."
Arm.wiggling.choreography. If there's even a suggestion of an end-credits dance sequence, I take back any and all doubt immediately, that's how badly I want this.