Santa-Shaped Sushi Is Here To Help You Win Christmas — VIDEO

Please put away the chocolate chip cookies and eggnog, because the real Christmas treat just arrived. His name is Santa-shaped sushi and he's not messing around. Let's face it, when celebrating the birth of humanity's savior, one cannot not do so without raw fish shaped into a commercial likeness. Complete with a red tunafish hat and crab meat face, this roll is quickly making me realize that chefs are artists of the mouth. Not only do they make beautifully looking pieces, they also taste amazing.

The creators of this video, YouTube channel How To Make Sushi, show how to make variety of different types of sushi rolls — from pandas that make you want to say "awwww" to mosaic sushi rolls that confuse and arouse you. These guys know what the people want and are not afraid to cut it into the right shape. Soon enough, you too can create your own sushi art pieces that will satisfy any crowd.

Honestly, these guys make it look so easy. I know that if I attempted this magical number all that would happen is my ego getting the best of me. I would get angry that my Santa was lump-sided and just eat the whole roll. So instead of just giving you highlights from the video, I'm going to describe what I think they are doing in each clip. You can watch the ACTUAL video with wonderfully clear instruction at the bottom.

1. Step One

So basically you are going to make a duct tape wallet, but instead of the duct tape you use seaweed and crab meat. Cool? Good. Now roll those suckers up. Also, pay attention to the fancy sharp knife.

Seriously. Pay attention. It's really sharp, so don't just reach out and grab it.

2. Step Two

Grab a chunk of tuna. A really big chunk. You might think that's a good sized chunk. Go bigger. After you completed this task, you need to take the fancy sharp knife and start cutting the crap out of it. I'm talking serious cuts. Make the top of that sucker arch like a bridge.

3. Step Three

Now this step is crucial. Grab some rice, make a pile of it on some seaweed. You see how they're using the fancy knife in the background — don't worry about that step (I think).

4. Step Four

OK, so maybe you did need to know. Oh, well. Just pretend you understood how to make rice pink. Also, you now want to basically stack all the previous items on top of one another, like a sandwich. A raw fish sandwich, that is pink and unstable.

5. Step Five

You are done. Don't ask how you got from point A to point B. Merry Sushimas!

Here are the actual instructions for those of you with mad ambition this year:

How To Make Sushi on YouTube

Images: YouTube