If you've given up on making New Year's resolutions, then you're certainly not alone — and a huge chunk of these funny New Year's Eve quotes can confirm that for you. After all, if you think about how many resolutions you've made in past years and compare that number to how many resolutions you've actually accomplished without compromise... well, it's probably slim pickings (if any). Hey, it's hard to commit to something for 365 days. Like, really hard.
While New Year's Eve certainly has its inspirational side, you can't deny the fact that it also has its drunken side... and its overly youthful side... and its failed resolutions side. But don't fret! Nope, you've got to laugh at it. Life's no fun when you don't have a good sense of humor. In fact, it's likely to be unbearable if you can't knee slap at your own expense.
So take a little advice from my comedic friends below, and laugh a little. Actually, laugh a lot. Who knows? Maybe that should be your New Year's resolution. Learning to find humor and joy in everything. Nah, who are we kidding? Everybody knows New Year's resolutions never succeed if you put too much pressure on them anyway.
1. "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." — Bill Vaughan
2. "New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time." — James Agate
3. "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." — P.J. O'Rourke
4. "He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool." — F.M. Knowles
5. "I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me." — Anais Nin
6. "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves." — Bill Vaughan
7. "New Year's Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." — Mark Twain
8. "Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that." — Judith Crist
9. "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!" — Joey Adams
10. "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." — Oscar Wilde
11. "New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive." — Jay Leno
Looking for more holiday cheer? Check out Bustle on YouTube.
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