When you're thinking about what makes a good, healthy relationship, it all comes down to the people involved. And you can feel it when you have a great girlfriend and when it all just works. But what makes it work isn't always something big or obvious — it doesn't come in a grand gesture. Just like the qualities that make a good boyfriend, sometimes, it's just a combination of the little things that make you realize you're with the right person.
Now, I completely admit that this list may seem super, super gross. Because love can be gross. I was rolling my eyes while I wrote it (which made typing really, really difficult). But even though it's gross, it's true. Some of it is from personal experience from my amazing girlfriend and some of it may be universal. Because even though every couple is unique, there are certain things that help make a lot of great couples great.
You'll probably have special things just between the two of you that didn't make this list, and that's totally fine. You should have things that are weird and unique to you two (like the fact that I somehow think "little gremlin" is an OK term of endearment for my girlfriend). But if you've ever had a really great girlfriend, or been one, this may ring true.
Here are little ways you know you have a winner:
1. Your Text Messages Might Make Anyone Else Want To Vomit
How many kisses should you add at the end? Three? 18? Probably 40. This is normal, right?
2. She Doesn't Mind If You're A Little Extra Smelly/Hairy/Whatever
True love means kissing first thing in the morning and not caring that your partner hasn't brushed their teeth or showered.
3. She Respects Your Time With Your Friends
She knows it's important for you to have other relationships with people, and that your relationship will be stronger for it.
4. ...And She Has Her Own Friends Outside Of You
You see that there are plenty of people that she cares about and respect how important those bonds are.
5. You Have Passions You Share
There are things that both of you care about it brings you closer.
6. ... And Passions That Remain Your Own
Some you time keeps your relationship strong in the long run, and you're both down with that.
7. Poop And Period Talk Doesn't Make Her Blink
"Oh, that sucks but you're always constipated before your period, so it'll be better soon!" = love.
8. Her Gifts Are More About Being Thoughtful Than Showing Off
She knows exactly what will make you smile and that a beaten up copy of your favorite play means a lot more rather than just spending a lot of money last-minute.
9. She Doesn't Take Any Sh*t From You
She's strong willed enough to call you out when you're being unreasonable.
10.... But Doesn't Hold A Bad Mood Against You
Everyone gets the grumps sometimes, and she understands if you're grouchy or distracted.
11. The Idea Of Long-Term With Her Doesn't Scare You
It just seems kind of obvious that you fit together, even if it's too early to plan for it.
12. She's Not Grossed Out By Your Gross, Gross Feet
Everyone's feet are gross. Science fact. But for some reason you think it's cute to touch each other's even without socks.
13. And You're Not Grossed Out When She's Sick
You just want to take care of her, and don't mind the snotty tissues everywhere, because she'll do exactly the same to you.
14. There's No Tension When You Decide What To Binge-Watch
New murder documentary or Arrested Development? It won't turn into a fight.
15. And You Actually Wait To Watch New Episodes With Each Other
There is no betrayal like watching the new Game Of Thrones without your watching buddy. I mean, it's full of effing sex and dragons so you'll only wait if it's true love.
16. She's More Than Happy To Put Up With Your Batsh*t Crazy Family
Because she knows how much it means to you, so she'll smile and be supportive while Aunt Sara drinks all the cooking sherry and starts crying about how she should have been a model.
17. She Wants To Spoil You
She just wants you to have all of the nice things all the time.
18. But You Want To Spoil Her Just As Much
You have this weird urge to make her breakfast in bed even though that means waking up before 9 a.m. on a Sunday.
19. She's Not Threatened By Your Friendship With Your Exes
You know how strong you are as a couple, so if someone you used to be with is around, she trusts you.
20. And She's Respectful About Her Exes
She doesn't trash them, because she's not cruel about people.
21. She Buys You That Food You Like Even Though She Hates It
Vegan cheese. My poor girlfriend buys me godamned vegan cheese. It's basically plastic sadness.
22. She Talks Openly About Sex
She's not afraid to discuss what she likes and what you'd like to try.
23. She Makes An Effort With Your Friends
She's not just glued next to you whispering in your ears at a party, because she knows your friends are important and wants to get to know them.
24. She Encourages You To Dream Big
Because she believes in you.
25. She Does Nice Things "Just Because"
That cup of coffee she made you for no reason can feel like a gift from the heavens on a day you really need it.
26. She Doesn't Try To Change You
She wants you to be your best you, but definitely you.
27. And You Have No Desire To Change Her
She's not perfect, but you love her as she is.
28. She Really Listens
She's not just letting you vent, she pays attention.
29. She Asks "How Can I Help?
Because she wants to make life better for you.
30. She Occasionally Watches That Thing She Hate Because You Love Watching It
Dancing. With. The. Stars.
31. She Talks To You About What's Bothering Her
No passive aggressive post-its about the dishes.
32. You Can Be Quiet With Her
You can just be.
33. She Makes You Laugh
It's the sexiest thing in the damned world and means she doesn't take herself too seriously.
34. She Constantly Surprises You
The way she lives her life inspires you.
35. She's Kind, To You And Everyone
Call me a sap, but it's the most import thing there is. "There's only one rule that I know of, babies — 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"
36. She Gives You The Last Spring Roll
... sometimes. I mean, she's not Mother Theresa.
37. She Knows The Names Of All Your Work Colleagues And All The Drama Despite Never Having Met A Damn One Of Them
"She didn't have the minutes?! That is so Karen." — Someone who literally has never met Karen.
38. She Makes You Feel Safe
Everything is just better around her. It's going to be OK.
39. She's A Great Cuddler
You need to be on the same cuddle page.
40. You Learn Things From Her
She's full of interesting, amazing things, and shares her inquisitive mind with you.
41. She Inspires You
Watching the way she lives makes you want to live better.
42. She Makes You Feel Sexy
You deserve to feel like this. And with her, you feel irresistible.
43. She's Knows Herself
Knowing her own mind is hot.
44. She Knows Your Favorite Takeout Order By Heart
...but knowing when you're stressed you'll want Thai red curry with tofu, spring rolls, and summer roll is even hotter.
45. She Shows You How Much She Loves You
No guesswork or threats, she's not scared to make it clear just how enamored she is.
46. Her Advice Builds You Up
When you talk something through you feel genuinely better after.
47. She's Just Easy To Be With
She feels like home.
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