New Year's resolutions are literally a day away, and once the hangover fades, many will be trading the comfy couch for the treadmill. And just as we are about to dig out our neon spandex, comes a gym culture parody that will have you laughing all the way to spin class. "Gym Wildlife," created by YouTube channel Buff Dudes in collaboration with Gearmark, is a polished and hilarious look at gym culture, filmed as if it were a wildlife documentary. If you are a fan of Planet Earth or PBS’ Nature, you know the drill. But it’s not colorful birds, or apes under the magnifying glass here — it’s the fascinating behavior of homo sapiens. And like in any doc, the human behavior unique to the gym setting is examined and reduced to its most basic instincts.
The video paints the gym as an anthropologist’s dream. Whether you go to Cross Fit or Equinox or Curves, you’ve probably noticed some fairly strange things that only happen in this workout environment. The odd etiquette of machine and weight usage, people squatting in front of full-length mirrors and flaunting especially toned backsides, the loud grunts and growls of grown men trying to lift something especially heavy, for no other express purpose other than that it’s heavy. I admit, sometimes running on a treadmill makes me feel like a hamster on a wheel. But I'm trying to get pumped to start working out again, because supposedly it's "good for you" or something like that. When you enter the gym yet again in 2016, you can probably expect to run into these characters.
You've probably seen this person, stretching half-heartedly in front of the mirror. Their personal belongings are strewn around them like a barrier. Their sweater, water bottle, fresh-pressed juice, phone, glasses, wallet are laying about reminding us what lockers are for. It's hard to find a space to stretch when they are taking up all the room on the mat. Luckily, kicking over their water bottle usually gets the message across.
You don't want to do any downward dogs in this guy's eye-line. He clearly uses the gym to scope out ladies in tights rather than for his health, and makes you feel skeezed out just by using the same water fountain. To give him a taste of his own medicine, stand uncomfortably close to him and watch him intensely. I guarantee he won't like being the one observed.
This gym rat dresses as if they are in a music video, and use the gym as their own personal fashion show. You can spot them easily, as they will be the ones swathed in neon colors, loud patterns, and too many sweat bands. They might work out a little, but that's just for show.
These people are making way too much noise while lifting a twelve pound weight.
See if this applies to your gym by checking out the whole video here: