'The Sims 3's Glitches Are The Stuff Of Legend, Crush The Dreams Of Skinnydipping Mummies

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Listen, I've played a lot of The Sims in my day. I consider myself a bonafide  Sims expert, especially if what you need to know if how to make a sim who looks like Dean Winchester so that you can finally give him the happiness his existence on Supernatural deprives him of every second of every television season. It's a healthy existence, if "healthy" means playing it for nineteen hours a day for five days straight and then not touching it for eight months, then repeating the cycle.

Basically: I've been playing The Sims for over a decade, from the original game to Sims 3. I've seen a lot of things. Which is why it wasn't as much surprising as incredibly hilarious to find this list of notes about issues that had to be fixed in Sims games.

By far the best thing about this list is that these are things that multiple Sims player worldwide probably had to experience before the issues were patched. So enter, ye stranger, into the insanity of the sim world:

  • Pregnant sims can no longer brawl.
  • Sims can no longer "Try for Baby" with the Grim Reaper.
  • Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels.
  • Sims will no longer receive a wish to "Skinny Dip" with Mummies.
  • The Murphy Bed has been made less lethal.
  • A meteor can hit a building, which case everyone will run out before the collision. Those who do not exit the building will die. Sims automatically leave if a meteor is approaching, unless it is a school, in which children are not allowed to leave and will always die.
  • Mermaid Children can now take showers.
  • Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out.

You can read most of these and more over at Kotaku, and even more at the  Sims patch site.

But, like, what if the pregnant sims want to brawl?

TheSims3Pets101 on YouTube

Image: EA