It's Time To Fact Check Kanye's "Facts"

When Yeezy released a certain single a few minutes before 12 AM EST on New Year's Eve, everybody pushed the recipient of their midnight kiss aside and threw their champagne bottles on the ground in haste so they could have a first listen. "Facts" by Kanye West is a bucket of laughs. It's really fun. The single, which is a take on Future and Drake's collaboration "Jumpman" from their shared mixtape What A Time To Be Alive, is probably part of West's upcoming album Swish. It features a lot of bragging — with just a dash of diss leveled at Michael Jordan. Come on, Kanye, leave the star of Space Jam, and former athlete on some sports team (The Balls? The Bills? Umm... Ohhh, the Bulls!), alone. After all, is "Facts" even really factual?

Kanye had a lot to say. A whole lot to say. Yeezy was throwing out bold claims left and right, as he is wont to do. But, let's be real, how true can all of these statements be? Boastfulness tends to lead to a little bit of exxageration, and I'm not accusing Kanye or anything, but I am slightly distrustful of the truthfulness of his lyrics. So, with that in mind, allow me to fact check "Facts" with the label fact or a fiction. I do these things so you don't have to.

1. "Yeezy, Yeezy, Yeezy Just Jumped Over Jumpman."

Kanye has some serious issues with Nike. This line refers to the logo of Michael Jordan's Air Jordans, and makes the claim that his personal Adidas shoes, Yeezy Boost, are doing much better. While Kanye's shoes sell out as soon as they are released, Michael Jordan make $2.25 billion in 2013 so we can assume that technically, West isn't jumping over anything.


2. "If Nike Ain't Have Drizzy, Man They Wouldn't Have Nothin'."

Um... Except you know, a humongous industry that makes about $27.8 billion a year.


3. "I Stuck To My Roots, I'm Like Jimmy Fallon. I Ain't Dropped The Album, But The Shoes Went Platinum."

Here, Kanye is discussing how, though he started in music, he's moving on to fashion. And, sure, he went platinum on all six of his records, and, yes, his shoes are killing the game as well. Thus...


4. "On The Field, I'm Over Reckless On My Odell Beckham."

Odell Beckham is a wide receiver for the Giants who can't seem to stop getting into fights with players from other teams. Kanye compares his inabiltiy to restrain his voice when he's frustrated to this behavior. We'll give you this one, Yeezy.


5. "I've Been Trending Years, Y'All A Couple Days."

Who is the ya'll he is referring to? Nike? If it's Nike, this is one is kind of true, because they haven't been trending on Twitter that often. But they have been literally trending since the '80s when Kanye was just a goofy pre-teen soooooo....


6. "Yeezy In The House, And We Just Got Appraised."

Kimye is about to sell their mansion for $20 million. So, yeah, you did just get appraised. This is accurate, Kanye West. But aren't you then out of the house? I'm probably just nit-picking.

FACT OR FICTION: Fact. I guess.

7. "[Nike] Gave Lebron A Billi' Not To Run Away."

It is true that Nike gave Lebron a whole bunch of money to stay with them for a lifetime contract, somewhere around $1 billion. But was Lebron actually running away? Doubtful.

FACT OR FICTION: Fact. I guess.

8. "$10 Thousand Fur For Nori I Just Copped It."

Yeezy didn't really buy a $3500 fur his daughter did he? Actually, yes, he did. Better hope that girl never has a growth spurt ever.

FACT OR FICTION: Fact... ish. I mean, it wasn't $10 thousand.

9. "I Done Wore Designers I Won't Wear Again. Make 'Em N*ggas Famous, They Get Arrogant."

It's true that Kanye wears and shouts out brands. Only Kanye knows if he wears them again. And only the designers know if they are arrogant. So, you know what, I'm going to say Yeezy is exaggerating a tad.


10. "I Give 'Em Grey Poupon On A DJ Mustard."

Yeezy, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you didn't actually squirt mustard on DJ Mustard... yet. Also, I know what you're saying, that you're better than DJ Mustard, but not everything is a competition, buddy.


11. "Plus Kimoji Shut Down The App Store. And We Made A Million A Minute."

According to Apple, Kim's claims that her 1.99 app featuring emojis of herself (Kimojis) broke the App store is false. But, the app did sell 9,000 times a second the first day. So, yes indeedy, they made a million a minute.

FACT OR FICTION: Sorta factual.

12. "I Done Told You All I Needed Was The Infrastructure."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it Kanye. You're making a bunch of money for Adidas.


13. "Couches, Couches, Couches, Couches, Which One Should I Pick? I Need Extra Deep. I Like My B*tches Extra Thick."

This requires some checking... do they even sell extra deep couches? It would seem so.


14. "Call Up DJ Mano. Shoutout Twilite Tone."

After rumors that Yeezy fired DJ Mano, Kanye argues he has not. He also reminds everybody he works with producer The Twilite Tone. Just so you know that Kanye is well-connected, and has worked with some of the best producers in the biz.


15. "We Just Blessed To Be Alive, Yeah Ain't That The Truth? So Let's Celebrate The Life Of Timbuk2."

This quote brings the whole song down from the heavy merchandising it started out as. Kanye reminds us how blessed we are all to be alive. He also shouts out Chicago radio DJ, DJ Timbuk2, who died of cancer at 35 this year. Life is a blessing, and Tim was an asset to Chicago rappers, so we'll let Yeezy end on a high note.


I hope I helped you weed through the insanity that is "Facts." If we've learned anything from all this, it's that Kanye really, really, really hates Nike. Here's to years and years of zany Kanye West activity... like Kanye 2020 perhaps?

Images: Giphy (10), Nike