This Is Why Your Blizzard Is Upside Down

So I know it's very cold outside where you live probably (or not, because we've ruined the planet and whatnot), but Dairy Queen Blizzards are an anytime treat. I love them dearly. I am not so sure that I love DQ's new concept as dearly, though, because this new concept involves serving all Dairy Queen Blizzards upside down for the entirety of 2016, or your next Blizzard is free. I mean, yes, the possibility for free Blizzards exists, and that's cool... but I am also so stressed out about this. Guys. Guys. Oy.

In case you don't know what a Dairy Queen Blizzard is (which... like... why do you not?), it's similar to a milkshake, but thicker, and eaten with a spoon, and filled with surprise treats like Oreos and cookie dough bits and toffee pieces. It's a delightful confection — which is why the prospect of it being handed to me upside down, thus presenting the very real danger of it all plopping onto the ground, is simply too much.

Technically, this is not a totally "new" concept, this upside-ness. According to Grub Street, Dairy Queen has historically left the enforcing its policy of serving Blizzards upside down to the discretion of individual chains; furthermore, a Facebook video from April of 2015 demonstrates a similar promo in action. But according to Barry Westrum, Executive Vice President of Marketing for DQ, the plan to serve all Blizzards upside down throughout 2016 "demonstrates to our fans that we are committed to offering the thickest, most delicious treat experience there is."

It's their "epic resolution" for 2016, and DQ Is going all out: They've also launched a Tumblr (upsidedownfree, obviously) and a hashtag (#GetUpsideDown, a tag currently dominated, hilariously, by the digital yogi community) to keep the campaign going strong. That's all well and good, but it's causing me some severe anxiety. Just think how much risk there is, guys. So many things might fall tragically on the floor.

If you, unlike me, are excited about watching someone turn a treat you've been dreaming about upside down, then you are welcome to go into any participating DQ location and try it; if you do not recieve your topsy-turvy treat and you call them out on it, then you'll get a coupon for a free Blizzard to be redeemed the next time you come in. I, on the other hand, am going to try asking very nicely for them not to turn my Blizzard upside down.

Images: Dairy Queen; Giphy (2)