And here we thought James might miss out on all of the Vanderpump Rules Hawaii trip mayhem. Just one episode ago, Jax had all but tattooed “JAMES ISN’T GOING TO HAWAII” to his forehead, but oh how quickly the mind can be changed. On Monday night’s episode of Pump Rules, the British disc jockey pulled Jax aside at SUR, said he wanted to be a part of the Jax and Tom Sandoval Hawaii Birthday Expedition, and convinced Jax to rescind his non-vitation within a matter of a few (presumably edited down for television) minutes. James's work was nothing short of masterful. If you were to tell me that James Kennedy is a Jedi, I wouldn’t not believe you.
James was on a mission, and that mission was to hang out with Lala in Waikiki. But before Mission: Persuade Jax To Invite James To Hawaii commenced, a James talking head popped up. He let the viewers at home know that even though Jax can't stand him (or his relationship with Lala), he was confident he would sway Jax his way. I didn’t get the dialogue down verbatim, but here’s the gist of the exchange:
James: Can I go to Hawaii with you guys? Don't leave me out.Jax: [Sighs.] [Wrings hands.] [Uses bar to brace self.] [Avoids eye contact.] You’re a tornado, bro.James: I promise I’ll be good.Jax: [Sighs.] But it's my birthday trip.James: You won’t even know I’m there.Jax: I don’t care about Lala. Or the Jax/James/Lala love triangle. I do not care.James: Noted.Jax: Stop getting in my face about the Lala stuff.James: OK. Jax: Again, I don’t care about Lala. James: Noted. Jax: I could totally hook up with her if I wanted to, but I don’t want to. James: I’ve seen the Instagram photos of you and Brittany. I get that you are in a serious relationship. I would never suspect you of wanting to hook up with Lala. Never. So, about Hawa—Jax: I don’t want to hook up with Lala.James: Can I go to Hawaii?Jax: I. Do. Not. Want. To. Hook. Up. With Lala.James: Hawaii?Jax: You know I don't want to hook up with Lala, right?James: [Sighs.] I didn't want to have to do this, but... Jax: Are you even hearing me?James: [Uses the Force.] I will go with you to Hawaii.Jax: Sure. Whatever. Fine. I'm in a forgiving mood. You're going with me to Hawaii. You're on Lala ice. Er, you're Lala thin ice. Er, you're Lala Lala Lala. Er, you’re on thin ice.James: See you in Hawaii. May the Force be with me. [Puts headphones on over ears.]Jax: What did you say?James: Sorry, can't hear you. [Points to headphones.] I'm wearing headphones.
And that is more or less how James secured a spot on the SURver Aloha State Adventure. How does he feel about his victory? I'll let James's actual words sum it up: “I couldn’t be happier that I got myself invited because I want to f*** Lala, and what better place to do that than Hawaii?”
Image: Charles Sykes/Bravo