Australian comedians Danny and Sean have made a video of things people say in Ubers, although I'd say it's the kind of stuff people say in any sort of taxi service, be it an Uber or a Yellow Cab. The video, titled "Sh*t People Say In Ubers", continues in the grand tradition of "Sh*t People Say" videos — that is to say, it's totally cringe-worthy, but only because it's pretty realistic. Like, you have said some of this stuff. And if you haven't, you've definitely heard a friend say it when catching a ride together. Astutely observing the rare human condition of the lift-taker, Danny and Sean will have you giggling, and at times, wishing you weren't human.
A lot of what people say are the worst questions, like "How long have you been an Uber driver?" Isn't that the first thing you ask to open conversation? Things get more and more inappropriate as the questions go on and the passengers get bolder, or drunker, or generally sh*ttier. The video shows that however annoying it is to be stood up by an Uber driver, or taken on the wrong route, it must be infinitely more annoying to actually be a driver who has to put up with this crap. Here are some of the things that people say in Ubers, chronologically from most banal to most annoying:
1. Early Niceties
Feeling like you have to spark up a conversation with your driver is the worst, and leads to the most boring small talk questions like, "Have you been busy tonight?" That's literally the first question anyone who has ever tried to talk to a driver has asked in the history of the world.
2. Saying What You Think They Want To Hear
There's the Uber versus taxi debate that just won't die. To get your driver on side, you'll choose Uber's side. Even if no one asked you for your opinion.
3. Taking Over The Radio
There comes the inevitable point in the trip where the passenger feels comfortable to take over the music playing in the car. Sometimes with really annoying consequences...
4. Drunken Slurring
I suppose there are probably some passengers that start the ride like this and maintain an even level of incoherent drunken nonsense for the entirety of the trip. When you're this person you may or may not also fall asleep in the car. Not sure what's worse, music changing guy or drunk guy.
5. Loud And Argumentative
And then there's the Uber passenger who's just being as loud and inappropriate about their personal life as possible...
Watch the whole video here and truly hate yourself and every other Uber passenger in the world who has ever tried to make small talk with, or ended up being an ass to the driver.
Images: Pexels; YouTube (5)