It's safe to say that there are certain thoughts you have on your period that seem to be fairly universal to period-havers. Obviously, every woman is different, and every woman has unique thoughts, you special little snowflakes. But still, some things are shared, and some of those things are the things we think when we're menstruating. Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but there's a reason why you feel such solidarity when you discuss your biological functions with your girlfriends. It's because we're all going through mostly the same thing every month. The friends that bleed together stay together. Put that on a new bumper sticker for female friendship.
For women who menstruate, the process can be as annoying as it is wonderfully life giving. Who am I kidding. It's mostly annoying. Between the expense of menstrual hygiene products and the vague raw beef smell that establishes itself after the gym or even just between showers, having a period is a colossal nuisance. And it preoccupies SO much of our thoughts. There's really no biological equivalent for cis men who don't have periods — nothing they have to fret about almost constantly that changes the way their body and their hormones operate for one week out of every month. Just saying, Mother Nature — seems like a bum deal.
Here are some thoughts you have on your period, ranging from hilarious to just plain disturbing, from HelloGiggles' latest video:
1. Don't Sneeze
If you've ever sneezed with a tampon in (or tried to do a poo that requires some pushing), you'll understand how nasty it feels when you do. Having a tampon pushed half way out by a sneeze is uncomfortable, not to mention potentially causing annoying/unsightly or embarrassing leakage.
2. The Toxic Shock Conversation
Every user of tampons knows this one. It's when you question how long you've left your tampon in, fearing you'll get toxic shock syndrome and be hospitalized, maybe having a limb amputated.
This line of thought always includes extensive Googling of symptoms of toxic shock, and deciding that you have toxic shock, even if you don't.
3. The Pad Conversation
There's also a conversation that goes on in the heads of women who prefer pads, and it all has to do with whether or not people can hear your pad when you move.
4. The Pat On The Back
Every time we best unwanted pregnancy, we have a little mental celebration, which is one of the best parts of getting your period.
Watch the whole video below for more weird period thoughts, and empathize with your fellow menstruating women.
Want more women's health coverage? Check out Bustle's new podcast, Honestly Though, which tackles all the questions you're afraid to ask.