Life

What Happens When You Flirt As Hannibal Lecter

by Brianna Wiest

Do you know that super frustrating feeling when someone you're dating just doesn't get it? I mean, they don't pick up on the fact that you hate Pad Thai, they are oblivious to your subtle cues in the bedroom, and the fact that you don't like their sister very much is totally lost on them. Some guys just don't get it, and in an effort to illustrate just how terrible it can be, a girl (read: our hero) gave her brother's number to a guy who was hitting on her at the bar, and as a joke, her brother only responded to texts from him with Hannibal Lecter quotes. The most hilarious part of all? He had no idea! He carried on in the conversation as usual.

The conversation began innocently: "Happy new year! How was Coney Island last night?" "Your job is to craft my doom so I'm not sure how well I could wish you." To which the poor guy responded: "What do u mean." The antics carried on well beyond that, with "the girl" saying: "Our scars have the power to remind us that the past is real," to which he responded: "Ok, let's not dwell on the past. It's a new year! Everything is going to be ok!"

Eventually, the madness began to wind down when the guy realized something was definitely up, though in his defense, it remained completely chill regardless, saying: "I really don't... let's just have a normal conversation and deal with the deep stuff some other time," to which, uh, Hannibal responds: "You're in shock now. I don't want you to feel any pain. In a moment, you'll begin to feel light headed, then drowsy. Don't resist. It's so gentle like slipping into a warm bath. I regret it came to this, but every game must have its ending." The message was followed by a pic, and finally the guy on the other end was prompted to say: "What are u talking about? Do you have the right person in mind?"

If nothing else, may this be a lesson that in the digital age, you can trust nobody. And if not that, may we all be inspired to hand our phones off to really creative friends and siblings who can give some random suitor a total run for their money. We're wondering whether or not this guy will ever see the messages on the internet... regardless, he's probably still too busy scratching his head in confusion to ever take much notice. So the next time someone teases you for being a little too up-to-date with pop culture, you can tell them it's so you'll never get Hannibal catfished like some other people you've seen!

Images: Imgur; Pexels