11 Things That Scared Every '90s Kid
Oh, I know, I know, you love the '90s, you're obsessed with them, you have an ironic Saved By The Bell t-shirt to prove it. In your mind there was nothing more amazing than those magical 10 years. But may I suggest that you're focusing on all the primo Nick Toons and disregarding the veritable state of terror we all lived in. Because you know what? There were so many things that every '90s kid was afraid of back in the day.
It was a fear that comes with being a child in the era of scrunchies and technological pets (so many technological pets, it was crazy). There were a lot of valid era-specific concerns you had, all while worrying that you'd contract an incurable bout of cooties. I'm amazed we all got through it all in one piece, and I'm amazed we're covering those anxieties up with rose-colored glasses now that we're beyond that decade.
So next time you say you love the '90s, remember these fears that invaded your very soul. Soon enough, you'll be grateful that we live in a time free from all those technological pets and alarmingly low standards about cartoon violence.
1. Your Tamagotchi Dying
To begin with, I would be woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of whatever virtual cat I owned, struggling every minute of every day to keep it happy. But no. You slip up once and it dies on you. The trauma will never leave me.
2. The Theme Song Of The X-Files Coming From Your Parent's Room
Not even the show itself. You weren't allowed to watch the show. Just that song invoked true terror.
The ones with Slappy were too much to handle.
4. All Of The Illustrations From Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark
All of them were way too intense for your garden variety second grader.
5. Global Warming
Not that this isn't a discussion now. I just feel like we ditched all those cans of hairspray in the '80s after hearing about that hole in the ozone.
6. Your Favorite Boy Band Member Getting Married
Luckily, it would be years before Justin Timberlake decided to break our hearts.
7. Getting Abducted By Online Predators You Met In An AOL Chatroom
Can you imagine meeting someone in person that you met online, you guys? Who does that...
8. Having Your Mom Find Out You're Talking To People In AOL Chatrooms In The First Place
She would get so upset, especially since you told her you were just playing Oregon Trail.
9. Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
The Ghastly Grinner and all the blue bile coming out of his mouth still gives me nightmares to this day.
10. That Moment When You Catch Missingno And Pokemon Red Version Is Corrupted FOREVER
All I wanted was unlimited rare candies and to catch them all. I didn't ask for this.
11. And Of Course, Furbies
Don't even sit there and try to tell me that those things weren't demonic.
In a nutshell? The '90s were great and all, but I'm so glad that we live in a time where not all technology is evil, and the planet is still melting, but we're cool about it.
Images: Giphy (11)