We'll Finally Know If Obama Is a Belieber

by Lia Beck

People want Justin Bieber deported so badly that they're getting the government involved. That, or they're taking advantage of the Obama administration responding to all petitions made on the White House website that reach 100,000 signatures in 30 days and find the idea of the president responding to the Biebz deportation funny. Either way, the official "We The People" petition has reached 100,000 signatures in six days so the Obama administration must address Justin Bieber's deportation.

As of 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 29, the petition has 106,911 signatures. The petition is very simple and straightforward. It reads,

We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.

The White House has previously responded to other far-fetched petitions including a plea to have the United States start construction on a Death Star by 2016. The administration hilariously responded saying they would not build a Death Star due to the outrageous cost (an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000) and asked, "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Hopefully the Bieber response will be just as appropriately silly. They could say that they're scared of being attacked by Beliebers or ponder why they would get rid of someone that has created a wealth of American jobs through his incessant need to be blogged about.

In related news, a number of petitions to not deport Bieber have also popped up on the White House site. One titled, "Stop Justin Bieber from getting deported. He is a human being and he makes mistakes. He does not deserve this" — yes, that's just the title — currently has only 1,522 signatures.