Because we're all focused on the celebration of love (or the lack thereof) this month, I bring you the work of Idalia Candelas, a Mexico-based artist who created a series of comics about being happy single women. That's right, happy. At the fault of no one, we tend to victimize or feel sorry for people who are single. Just a year ago, I myself remember sitting on the kitchen counter, with a kiwi colored face mask, mismatched pajamas (that were a conglomeration of memorabilia from ex-boyfriends), while eating Chex out of a mixing bowl at noon, and after catching my reflection in the window, I actually said out loud "no wonder I'm single". Which tends to be the attitude after a break up — everyone goes through a stage where they blame themselves. Being single at some point always feels like a sentencing or a condition, something that one suffers from. I'm happy to say that a year later I know exactly why I'm single this Valentine's Day — because I choose to be.
Just like Candelas depicts in her comics, being single for me is not depressing, it's empowering. I'm not looking over at the other side of the bed wishing there was someone sleeping next to me, I'm spread the eff out, enjoying the space while I have it. I enjoy cooking for myself, spending time reading, walking around, listening to music, and going on trips by myself — all things I once enjoyed with a partner. They're not dead to me because the relationship is, I enjoy them alone. Which is the title of Candelas project or, "A solas" in Mexico.
In Candela's body of work, she encompasses a lot of low tones, highlighting loneliness and depression. Which is exactly why it was important to her to make sure that people understood that the "Alone" series is not meant to be dark. These women are not waiting around for lovers, they're living their lives.
And believe it or not, having the morning to yourself is very zen. You have time to get your head ready for the day and wake you mind and body up in peace.
Taking long showers can be so luxurious. It's nice to treat your body for yourself. It's healthy to care about yourself just as much when your single as much as you do when someone else is seeing your body.
Nothing beats spending the day reading, interruption free. I try to use most of my free time at home to read and enrich myself as much as possible.
Cuddling is ace, spooning is bliss, but stretching out takes the cake. The best sleep usually comes from a night of no body contact.
Being naked at home for yourself and not for someone else's enjoyment is empowering. Getting to know and love your body in privacy is the best way to form a lasting relationship with it. Plus, now I never feel sexier then when I'm eating cereal topless.
Learn more about Candelas and get your own copy of "Alone" here.
Images: Courtesy of Idalia Candelas