How To Create The Life You Want

by Raven Ishak
Woman jumping in air with her arms up whilst smiling
Tim Robberts/Photodisc/Getty Images

It happens to everyone. At one point or another, you're tired of the way you've been living your life and you want to make some positive changes. But while a complete overhaul might seem like the most logical answer, there are more subtle changes you can make to create the life you want instead. While there's no such thing as a perfect life, there are small ways to help better your life every single day, no matter what.

If you feel like you've been going down a path that you're not necessarily proud of, there's a way for you to change it, but it has to start with you. No one else can tell you how to live your life, but at the same time, no one else can help you create the life you want, either. You are in charge of your destiny and it's better to start late then to never start at all. In the last five years, I had to make a lot of decisions to get where I am today. And even though my life is still a work in progress, I'm proud of who I've become. Don't let fear get in the way just because you're not sure what exactly change will bring, and don't be complacent because you're comfortable with your life — even though you know you can do better. If you feel like you've been having these thoughts lately and you're not really sure how to take the next steps to better your life, here are some pointers on how to help you get on track for a much better, positive life that you've created yourself:

1. Decide What You Want Out Of Life

Identify what you want to change about your life, and how you want it to blossom into the one you want. By deciding what you want to do, it can help you focus on the promises you're making to yourself. According to Forbes, Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, said to identify your Keystone Habit — the most important habit you want to change about your life. When you want to find out what that habit is, ask yourself, "What constantly gnaws at me?" Is it something that you don't want to do anymore? Or maybe it's a dream that you've been dying to start. Either way, try to focus on one change at a time. It can help you focus better on each single habit that much better.

2. Start To Envision That Your Life Is Already How You Want It To Be

When you start to envision your life as the way you want it to be, things can start to move in that direction. According to Forbes, Karen Mason Riss, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, said that when you want your life to change, you should try to already envision your life like that by asking yourself, "What are the things that I already bring to the table?" Just because things aren't exactly the way you want them to be right now doesn't mean that you haven't already started going in that direction. Make sure you invest in yourself and think positive thoughts. This can guide you to continue to make progress. The thing you choose to do now can alter your future. So choose things that can make you into the person you want to be.

3. Think About The Experiences That Make You Happy And Repeat Them

When you're trying to figure out how to create the life you want, try to think about the experiences that truly make you happy and do them as often as you can. For some, that might entail working on their dreams, and for others, that could mean playing with their children or writing in their journal more. However you want your life to be, make sure you are repeating these positive actions to create a positive, happy life. According to Loretta Graziano Breuning, Ph.D., founder of the Inner Mammal Institute, who spoke to me over email, "You can have the life you want if you think carefully about the individual experiences that make you happy, design behaviors to fit, and repeat the behaviors every day until they’re wired into your brain. It’s hard to repeat a new behavior so commit your time and energy to this priority." Not only can this create a new habit in your life, but it can force you to be more positive. You have the control of how you think — so conquer your thoughts and flip your life around.

4. Become Goal-Oriented

This is the time to be selfish and figure out exactly what you want. Try to set goals for yourself. If you want a certain job, master some skills until you get there. Even just thinking about your goals can help you complete them faster. According to Psychology Today, mental practices can get you closer to where you want your life to be. Apparently, a lot of athletes have been using this technique for years to help enhance their performances. To get started, establish your goals and imagine that you have already achieved that goal in the future. When imagining this, try to fully immerse yourself into this situation. You can combine this thought process with mediation or positive affirmations. This process helps you visualize yourself in your changed lifestyle and it can be easier for you to embrace it when it actually does happen.

5. Forget The Past

It always seems that the past can be one of our biggest obstacles in life. It can hinder us from achieving the life we want, and can alter our thinking because we're fearful of repeating old mistakes. According to Psychology Today, Lisa Firestone Ph.D., clinical psychologist, author, and the Director of Research and Education for the Glendon Association, said, "Once you recognize the undesirable ways your past is affecting your present behavior, you can make a conscience effort to act differently. You can teach yourself to stop reacting instinctively and to really think about the kind of person you want to be."

6. Don't Worry About What Others Are Going To Think

It might sound selfish, but when you're trying to turn yourself around, you really need to try to focus on yourself and not worry about what other people are going to think. It's easier said than done, but it is possible. Just because a path worked for someone else doesn't mean you have to go down that same path. According to Elite Daily, people will always have their opinions, but if you decide to make choices based on what people say, then you will feel stuck. Break that thought pattern, and do whatever you feel is best.

7. Let Go Of Fear

When you're trying to form the life you want, you need to let go of the thought of fear. It will only hold you back from achieving your dreams and what you are destined for. The fear of making a mistake is natural, but the only way you will ever know if you made the right choice or not is by simply making a decision to begin with. According to WebMD, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach and author of Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction, said if you ever feel frightened of all the changes you are making, try to have an anchor to remind you of your goals and why you are doing this. It can be a person you can talk to, a mission statement, or an object. Return to this anchor to help keep you focused on your goals and why you want to better your life.

8. Communicate Your Wishes With Others

To help get your life on track, tell your loved ones the changes you are making. Once you start putting that good juju out there, it can come back to you at full force. Let everyone know what you are trying to accomplish. Your friends can influence and help you when they know why and how you are changing your life for the better. According to The Huffington Post, Deepak Chopra said, "Anything worth having only increases when it's given." By sharing your thoughts and passions, you are being vulnerable, but it can make you stronger and help keep you focused on your path.

To create the life you want, you might need to make some major changes in your life. Trust yourself and strive to have the best life ever. If you decide to take charge of your life now, just imagine what your life will be like in the next couple of years. Love yourself enough to be the guidance you need in your life. Create the life you deserve, because, well, you deserve it.

Images: Tim Robberts/Photodisc/Getty Images; Giphy